My Dirty Little Secret [Unfinished]

I was thinking about Saturday this weekend with Max at his house & the song 'Dirty Little Secret' by AAR came in my head & this is a fusion of the two XD it has a melody & everything...this makes 16 songs for my cd...I CANT WAIT to see him >

I’ve got myself a dirty little secret.

Let’s hope that this time I learn to keep it.

Keep my brown eyes shut & my cherry lips parted,

My head spinning wondering how all of this started.

 

Keep my mouth busy so I can’t tell the world,

How I’m living out my fantasy of being his girl.

[unfinished stanza]

 

My dirty little secret.

He’s my dirty little secret.

And I will never regret,

My dirty little secret.

 

No one will ever know what happened Saturday night.

No one will ever see the teeth-marks on me from his bites.

And no one else will ever make my heart race so fast.

And he’ll never know that in my heart I hoped it would last.

 

[Unfinished]

Reviews

[Hotel Mornings]

This is interesting. I love how it starts out pretty innocently and then gets a little spicy at the end. The rhyme scheme kind of gives it a fairytale/childlike feeling when it's not really about anything innocent. The lines: " Maybe just for one night but it's enough to last my lifetime.//When things get rough for me his memory will be my lifeline," kind of took me out of the poem. Lifetime and lifeline just feels like it might have been a forced rhyme/connection between the lines. This is a really good start to a poem. I would like to know how it all went down after this.

[Tickle me not]

I'm just a little bit familiar with AAR and I must say this really reminds me of the song/band.
I have to agree with jmt8921, those lines are just a tad offbeat if you really focus on it. Still a very good poem though !

[jmt8921]

Awww. That's sweet.

"Maybe just for one night but it's enough to last my lifetime.
When things get rough for me his memory will be my lifeline."

This line doesn't seem to really fit with the rest of the poem, it's kinda off beat... I dunno. It just sounds weird to me.