Gravity

=/ In science class, learnin bout gravity XD.

 

 

Gravity wraps a hand around my bleeding heart & pulls me down

Gravity pinches hard my smiling lips & pulls them into a frown.

Gravity puts such intense pressure on my shoulders, such weight!

Gravity pushes my mood down until all I feel is sorrow & hate.

Gravity takes hold of my flying spirit & drags it screaming to Earth

Reviews

[Lindsey:)]

I loved it.
The Repitition made it even better.
It gives great imagery too.
Dont let gravity hold you back.

[Nikkikid48]

the last line has lasting imagery...but overall...this has repetition that is a little to clear....the structure here is your undoing...i feel like if u stuck to free form...you would be best....there is still excellent potential even in this form though which is difficult because of the ryhming...

[Voltaire Mephisto (aka ..]

This was short and so moving. It made me think of gravity as a devil and enemy. Instead of the usual root of hate and depression you came up with a new kind of concept. Gravity is messing you up. Yeah, it can be symbolic, but I enjoy taking it literally.

[Dug]

Don't let gravity push you around, Liz.
You can fly.