Society [unedited]

This is the product of my boredom with today's school system...instead of an algebra test I did this...>.< & I'm proud =P. lol.

Society: the standards that we let shape us.

The thing that your parents teach you to trust.

Unwritten rules that people go by,

That say there's nothing more to me than meets the eye.

 

An angry teen girl, with too thick eyeliner.

A troublemaker, a w***e, a whiner.

The scars from where I fell on that glass shelf,

They see it & assume that I cut myself!

 

No one would look at this girl that's 'all wrong',

& think that I could write poetry, make these songs.

I get tired of the condescending glares,

at my style, my makeup. Dyed hair.

 

If they'd only take the time to know me,

They'd see how funny & sweet I can really be.

I love animals, I'd never hurt a soul,

But some 'good boys' down the street put a dog in a hole.

 

I beat their asses & dig it up,

Only to find that it's just a pup.

One of them calls the police & they scram,

& who's left to take the blame for this?...I am.

 

Lies lies lies, that's all they hear,

While I'm screaming the truth right into their ears!

I'm not the bad guy in this equation.

But this is the mindset of the nation.

 

Hmm the nation...let me see...

Who's spending billions on bombs, hunny? NOT ME!

When there's people starving that money could save,

It's spent to send good soldiers to an early grave.

 

These things are swirling around in my head,

But when I voice them, you all turn your heads.

Look away in embarrassment, you know that it's true.

All the hatred & killing's because of you.

 

For those who listen & open their eyes,

We can save the world from an early demise.

They won't listen to just one voice,

But what if everybody made the choice?
 

If everybody got together, & told it like it is,

Then maybe it wouldn't be too late for this.

We're not dead yet, so there's still time,

To let this sink in, feel my rhyme.

 

Written By,

Elizaneth Ann McClure

Author's Note

This is more of a rap...I was angry at the world one day...so many problems...& some kids on the news put a puppy in a plastic bag...(i incorperated that into there) that just made me cry...I look so freaking mean & yet I can't hurt a rolly polly or an ant. It's just sad....& my cousin & my stedad (with my birth family, im adopted) is too, & my old friend & my teacher....too many people to lose when the hates everywhere not just in Iraq, thats just where the media's focusing...I'm going to stop now before I go too deep...but just mull this over in your heads...Enjoy & goodnight.

Reviews

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

wow!!! I wish everyone would read this and see what is really going on in our world. The propaganda everywhere is destroying us! And I especially hate it when people judge, just by looks, believe me i know how it feels. I am proud of you too for writing this! If only everyone else would open their eyes to see the crumbling society around them!
kudos to Lizzi!

~may

[Travis Lawrence]

I like it, a stream-of-conscious rant, correct? I agree with most all of it, let's lose the judgemental labels and try to focus on what really matters. Nice, too, that you leave hope at the end. It's not over by any means!

[N3v3r_2_L@t3]

This peice of work is probably the best I have read in a long time. Not only does it have a very good meaning to it, but you did a great job with words too. Though its not like most people's poems, and have really deep figurative language, and words that sometimes make you misunderstand the concept, you get the point right off the bat when you read this. I can tell you were angry at the world when you wrote this, and you know what? Its like, really nice to vent sometimes, especially in poetry, because you can put your real feelings down on paper, or internet, without being contradicted, or patronized for your work. This poem was very deep, and had great meeting. The beggining, talking about the girl whom no one seems to understand, I'm sure many people can relate to that. There are alot of people out there, who just don't get someone else, and most out there, are just not gotten, if thats a good way to put it. But the story about the dog sounds beliveable. Its a scenario that someone could actually go through, and may have been, I mean, If you just came up with that, or it actually happened, good job=]. But you have a lot of potential as a writer, and the fact that you can share your views openly to others without care of what they think, earns my props. You hit everything dead on the money with this poem, and I'm sure you can afford a bad grade for this=p. I'm adding it to my writing list, if I can figure out how...but if you have any more work, I would love to read it. Keep on Keepin on=]

good form and rhythm.

powerful emotions in your work. Emotions could either emphasize the message or cloud the message off.

you have something good here. Keep writing