Battlefield

What goes on inside my head on days like today. The music for these lyrics kind of wrote itself.

Please excuse me if I freak out

Please excuse me if I shut you down

It’s not your fault, it’s these voices in my head

Drowning you out

 

I’m better than I was, I’m better than before

But that doesn’t mean I never struggle anymore

Some days it’s still a battlefield inside my mind

Fighting for control

 

Pushing and pulling, turning and twisting

Forcing myself to look up from the floor

Finally breaking, finally crying

How I wish that this couldn’t hurt me anymore

 

Because…..

I can barely go ten minutes, oh let alone an hour

Without obsessively obsessing on the girl in the mirror

Drawing lines that deviate from purposeful design

Phantom shapes and sizes that have never been mine

Giving into fear, and giving into habits

That focus on appearance but just turn into restriction

I’m so tired of this merry go round.

 

My old thoughts tend to die slowly

But this weakness is my strength because it forces me to rise

And lift my hands up to cast this veil,

From my eyes

 

I might have lost this battle but I haven’t lost the war

I choose to hold this promise that my Maker swore

He knew before I drew, my very first breath

That I was His.

 

Formed and fashioned by His hands.

Every part of me the Maker’s plan

Fearfully and wonderfully made

And this my soul knows very well.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Frito]

This is amazing. I know that it will be a struggle for awhile even if you're doing better but I hope you never give up

[Lizzie A.]

Thank so much for the review, I appreciate it

[John the Baptist]

I used to work with people who experienced similar symptoms. Glad to hear you're not giving up. They can be managed.

[Lizzie A.]

Thank you for reviewing :)