Despair

It approaches: the chance to turn over a new leaf and start again with fresh ways. 2010 will begin bright and unsullied; calendars of the faded 2009 will be thrown away callously (along with all else not belonging in the changed world).

She hates the New Year. Cold like sweat on the back of her neck, fear kindles the flames that scorch as easily as stroke. The strike-on-anything match has been fueled by the days flying by, making her page-a-day calendar thinner and thinner as it becomes obsolete.

She loves the old leaf. She knows her actions are but habits, and the memorized patterns of each day bring her joy. Yet year after year she sees what happens each autumn: tranquil yet radiant leaves topple from their treetop thrones, and lie helplessly on the ground like turtles upside down on their shells. These pitiful jewels are swallowed by the Earth and never noticed again. It seems she must jump forward if she does not want their fate. Glorious sunset is coming- what a tragedy, the close of something not ready to end. What if the worn day is right for her? She wakes in the middle of the night to this question singing in her ear. She checks her clock, the green glow of its new-age digital numbers illuminating her panicked face. So much depends upon the clock’s silent declaration that she has made it to a new day. For the three hundred and sixty-fifth time, the slow splintering of her heart merges with relief as she collapses upon her sheets, damp with sweat.

Is it wrong to betray 2009, or is she being rudely shoved into the new decade? These thoughts caress and claw at her mind.  One hour, one minute, one second left of the ultimate day. From under the covers, she begs, screams for time to speed up and stop in tandem. 

Cheers of greeting fly through the air. No one notices as a clock shatters against the floor of an empty room, radiating warning and welcome.

Reviews

[CC]

That does true justice. It is a complicated time of year for those often turned inward to reflection. Coinciding anxiety and hope, and a love of familiarity.