Fifteen Seconds

An experimental reflection on the hikikomori--or shut in--lifestyle.

Click click,

The sound reverberates in my ears as I stare into pixels and fantasy.

The steady rhythm comforts me when I need it most.

I’m counting seconds now, before my time runs out.

I have an objective: I must fight for it.

There’s no time to waste, here in this place

Of magic and monsters.

We have an objective: time is running out.

I’m down.

I need help. My friends I’ve never met

Come to my aid, with the press of a button.

My family sits at the table. They no longer knock at my door.

Outside my plate is waiting, but more important matters need

My undivided attention.

An email lies in wait,

“Dear deceased,

We regret to inform you that you

Have not been attending classes.

You are failing several courses as a result,

You have received several warnings.

You are hereby informed of your expulsion

From your academic program.”

Its words are meaningless.

Thirteen seconds remain.

I fire spell after spell, but nothing seems to destroy

The demon as it consumes us, one by one.

My monsters lie outside that door,

This one will not defeat me.

A laugh echoes from beneath me,

My sister no doubt, laughing at a jest

Her fiancé just made.

The wedding is next weekend.

I have barred my door, they cannot take me away.

Ten, nine eight…

My spells are weak, but slowly his health drains

My heart is racing,

My breath comes heavy.

There is a pain in my chest I’ve been ignoring.

The doctor tells me it’s the junk food.

The doctor tells me it’s a lack of exercise.

The doctor tells me I need to get out.

The doctor hasn’t told me a thing in two years.

Five, four…

Her picture still hangs on my wall.

She was beautiful and full of life.

I was going to marry her,

I decided it the moment I saw her.

Her smile was a plague that I hoped I might contract,

Her swaying trot made me weak.

We spoke of our future and of children and moving,

But she never heard a word of it.

It took everything I had.

A moment of courage I never had before.

Why had I waited so long.

We were meant to be. If only she could see it.

If there’s an objective, I have not found it.

Two, one… match. 

Author's Note

Any insight into ways I can improve my poetry writing skills would be greatly appreciated.