Attacks

The tiles aren't arranged correctly.

There's a smudge on the mirror.

The pictures don't run parallel to the floor.

There's one painting mistake on the ceiling.

All these things and more I've leaned

to ignore. Either because the irritate

my OCD or I can't take the teasing

of my mother. Perhaps it's both.

I can joke and tease myself when I'm

having a good day, but I know in the

back of my head that when I do

have an attack, I'm not having fun.

Sometimes I forget what triggers me,

but when they happen all my nerves

suddenly sing, a cacophony of sharp

sounds and lungs collapsing together.

That's not the worst of it though because

if you have one, you usually have others,

wanting to call it depression, but not brave

enough to tell anyone, for fear of reactions.

So I'll keep on having attacks and periods

of depressions where all I do is nothing.

And I'll keep on denying that my parents need

to know, I keep convincing I'm not important.

Author's Note

What is your opinion on this? Is there anything I could do differently?