Frostbitten

A quick little verse that came to mind... and I thought "eh, why not post it?"

The warmth of the moon awoken at night,

By a cool-winter breeze breathed out tight,

With a stiffened tongue, a layer of ice,

And fiery eyes, one’s that’ll bite.

Reviews

[JLXXXVIII]

Giving that saying "less is more" its meaning. Good job

[The Batman]

As stated before me, each line could have a unique, dynamic metaphorical meaning or just blatantly mean what is written, though I doubt that is what is inteneded here, for most poetry has more than one meaning. I believe that you have penned a very poetic, creative and unique work here. If this just "came to mind," as you said, then you are a very talented writer. I'd like to see what you could come up with if you thought longer about it, instead of it just 'coming to mind.' This, however, is very good. Well done.

[.........]

The metaphors in your poem can be either extremely dynamic, or simple and shallow. That's always a good thing with poetry, because it gives the reader the benefits of choosing what he or she wants to see within it.
When I look into this one, it could have biblical meanings, like the story about the tongues of fire. Or, you could simply mean by "stiffened tongue" that you're at a loss for words, or that maybe, you have things to say, but you have reason to keep them to yourself. There is a "layer of ice" present. Maybe something is difficult in your life that you don't want to return to, something slippery, something frigid or "frostbitten" that you can't slip upon for a second or third time.
There is a "cool-winter breeze" that you are "breath[ing] out". Maybe it's a past that you're finally letting out, something you've come to terms with and gotten out of your system. And I am giving this part thought: "the warmth of the moon". The moon has a comforting feeling to you, during the night. Maybe this is when you've really gotten in touch with your inner feelings, so that you can be warm now, on the inside, content.
I'd like to see you write more poems that focus more on not just the elaborate "this-sounds-good" aspects of writing, but maybe something more intentionally deep, with hidden metaphors like the ones you have here. I can see potential in your process.

[† Allybear!!! &d..]

This is an awsome metaphorical thing, I mean I'm not sure if you meant it that way or not, but to me its like a nightmare. The stiffened tongue is the Harsh words, and the Fiery eyes that bite, are the tortures from the minds eye.

Idk..... I love it!!!! :)

[Distant horizons]

Nicely done.

[Chelsea]

Oooooooo, I love this Liz! Short, but right to the point :) The more I think about it, the more meanings it seems to have.. very interesting

[BlueDreams]

Sweetly written the winter theme... liked it :-)

[CHRIS ANDES]

that's a silly thought...cute!!!..

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

the nurturing the nature has been adopted by you. words are so natural and gifted to our motherland to everybody. worth write. wishes.

[Zeek4]

You've painted a picture with few words. I like that.