The Cosmos.

A short essay I wrote for a class I was taking at the time. It's about my feelings towards the incredibly vast space that exists outside of our comfortable little planet; the cosmos.

                 Have you ever felt a deep-seeded connection to something? Or had an experience that shook you to your innermost core? I have had the pleasure of experiencing both of these things. In fact, I’ve made it my life’s goal to surround myself with the things that give me that connection and shake me to the core.
  
         Let me take you back to when I was a little girl, when I didn’t know about politics, racism, and poverty. Back to when I was innocent, and everything was simple. My grandmother and I were sitting outside in the Arizona summer night air, and not a drop of fluorescent man-made light could be found. All the light that we needed was over three billion years old and pouring out from the cosmos above. Our pupils dilated as we took in the glory of the universe that we were a part of, our lips closed tightly, as no human words could describe the awe that we were experiencing. I have never felt more at home, more connected, more humble and shaken than I have when taking in the cosmos.
  
         Nearly fifteen years have passed since then, my grandmother has forgotten those summer nights because of her Alzheimer’s, but I don’t think that I could ever forget. Although those child-like simplicities have come and gone, my feeling towards the heavens never has.
   
         I was told a couple years back about an Arteriole-Venous Malformation (an abnormal collection of blood vessels that are prone to bleeding out) inside of my brain, that it was inoperable, about how it could be the end of me at anytime. This diagnosis reunited me with that connection that has been a part of me since I was that child. I made a pact with myself; I would go to school and learn as much as I could about the stars, and surround myself with those feelings that I could not find anywhere else. And that’s what I am doing.
  
        I am learning how the universe came to be, how the planets were formed, and why mathematics are as beautiful as the sound of a violin. Still, I don’t think that I will ever know in this lifetime why the night sky causes such a vast rise of emotions throughout me. To be honest, I don’t want to know. I can’t conceive anything so incredible; it’s not humanly possible. All that I can do is thank my grandmother for sharing with me the most beautiful, awe-inspiring thing that we as a species are privy to being a part of, continue on my journey for celestial knowledge, and to always look up.