A letter to him

This is a fictional letter to someone who I really miss. The person does exist but I just used their name and nothing in this letter is true.

     Dear -----,

Do you know how much I miss you? I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss you. It's been almost 4 years since I've seen you. I didn't think I could miss anyone that much. You've always been there for me and you stuck by me through my roughest nights and the times I didn't know if I would make it through without changing.

I know we've had our fights and I'm sorry about those. I hate fighting with you. It gives me this twisted knot feeling in my stomach and I hate it. Our last one was awhile ago and I thought I had lost you forever because of what I said. But you were so forgiving and stayed through that with me. I don't deserve a friend like you. I never have. But you said the same thing and maybe we are meant for each other but fate is determined to keep us apart.

I did like you as more than a friend once but it was to hard and I dealt with losing you because of awkwardness. I forced myself to stop liking you so I could keep you as a friend. But they didn't stay gone. Now they are back and they are stronger than ever and I might be falling in love with you. Despite the fact I am young I do understand what that means. I know what it's like to be in love and you showed me what that meant. I shouldn't be in love with you but as they say, 'the heart wants what it wants' and I think that means you. I can't ever tell you this but I can write it in a letter that will never be read.

Thank you.

Susannah.