A Suicide Note

Will you cry for me

will you cry when I am gone,

I know this time will hurt you

but I know you'll carry on.

My life is but a shadow

in a graveyard late at night,

I try to stop the razor

but it's just not worth the fight.

I tried so many years

to pretend that all was fine,

I may not know the future

but I know that it's my time.

I'm sorry to my brothers

I wish to watch you grow,

I love you with my life

but now I have to go. 

Author's Note

Please dont send me a bunch of messages asking if Im alright. Im fine. I write to get it off my chest so I dont actually let the words overtake me.

Reviews

[Roy]

Have no words to comment. Been there, felt something similar. Good to know that I am not the only one who lets words speak for feelings, so as to get a grip on life sometimes.

[Luciole]

This was really great. Exactly what I mean with your style. so honest and powerful.

[Laura Storm]

I love the pattern and flow to this piece. I also love that I can relate to feeling the same. I love that you added in your family and the sadness of leaving them. It is a wonderfullly writen piece

[snickerdoodle]

enjoyed the repeat parallel rhymes in 2 and 4 steps of stanzas. the action "I" of lines 3.

poem strikes me as display of how the narrator is digging a hole, narrowly focused on the task, already there, oblivious outside of "I" and "me" with last parting thinking beyond self absorption. And in that ending line, however, is the glimmer of getting outside of the narrator's head and looking around---brothers. There are others. The seeds of 'not just me', that belong to others. Family ties that bind... to memories.. past and yet to come, not just now without them in that moment.
-----
My life is but a shadow
in a graveyard late at night,
--
*in my mind, i thought: in a graveyard day or night
if you walk in the cemetery, headstones leave shadows no matter which way the sun is, ditto for the moon. even if no moon, stars illuminate some. and should a person believe in spirits, memories, esp that hound people, esp in that environment possibly not passing through so much as stopping by.

i don't know about narrator words to the brothers on leaving. should that narrator wish to pay respect to his brothers with parting words of love, it seems even selfish to the end. the narrator wishes to see them go, loves them with his or her life, but... not really, cause now they have to go. it's like a last slap in the face at the end of a relationship where the person says, WTF, I thought you said you loved me, but you do this to me, wound and potentially scar? at the end of the day, actions speak louder than words, some come to conclude. maybe the narrator is "sacrificing" life, not only the narrator's but those who may feel as though they and their love for their brother was sacrificed as well.
Despite romantic seduction of life-death scenarios that border on a type of almost pleasure-pain principle (perhaps emotional auto-S&M on a heart, mind, soul.. .possibly body), the seeds of logic and rationale prevail with "brothers" .. family... to call the narrator's bluff that life is not all about you, "me", "I" but bonds of humanity with others that transcend darkest moments with brighter ones.
-
I may not know the future
but I know that it's my time.

I wish to watch you grow,

but now I have to go.
--
*sowing the seeds of love keeps tomorrow not only going but growing forward. keeps pocketfuls of sunshine no matter who, where or when one roams.

[Krista]

It's good to write especially if it helps you. I do it all the time. Writing is a good way to vent. If it works for you go ahead and do it. I'm here more often kinda. Not every day. But I'm here if you want to talk.

[Stormy Weather]

So filled with dread and pain. Loved it, :)

[Calypso]

Gut wrenching.

[fernii]

That just describes exactly how i feel all the time, i couldnt have put it better myself :)

[Liza]

a secret desire for validation
a threat to leave
just to see
is it alright to stay

[stars are far]

Oh ..this was so emotional ...
i loved that ..but i think that when someone decide to commite a suicide he should think about the beauty of this life like the trees and rivers and bla bla bla ....
so yeah great piece :D