A Broken Moment

My guitar lays in pieces, this wreckage unknown

painting a picture, iridescent, alone,

the clock on the wall, burned into time

the wild rain falls like a nursery rhyme.

The trees sway outside, out of control

the air from my lungs, taken below,

times sweet possession, walked to the sea

the string of my life, the ruin debris. 

Where are my friends, those sweet kindred souls

this calm blissful moment, to the ocean I go. 

Author's Note

A poem I wrote with 2 lists of words. One list being mine, the other Vin Rutilias.

Reviews

[Jeremy Baker]

Fantastic and vivid imagery - well written and structured.

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

The imagery in this piece is great! Your words flow beautifully and the concept is wonderful and deep! Great work!

-Femme_Gothique (Brittany)

[Daydreamer54]

very poetic and i love the imagery! great write! ^^

[Cherrie Palmer]

very smooth I liked the flow,

[Marie Harrison]

Wow...everyone's had that one broken moment
whether it's a death of a loved one, loss of a job,
or a broken relationship. We are amazed when time
races on for other when time seems suspended
to us due to our loss.
Great poem.

[SinnerInspired]

Love the ending its so awesome!
I love the creativity in this poem
Rock On

[Carrion.]

I really like this. the flow is amazing, and just the way the words are spun together. great:D

[Sleeping Maiden]

Vivid poem. I love it! You create such imagery to the reader's mind. =) Fantastic write! I love how it all flows so well too.

[Inyourshadow]

the clock on the wall, burned into time ~ love the use of this metaphor, perfect. You paint vividly with your words my friend, a pleasure to read. Keep em' coming

[katep1313]

I really enjoyed the imagery and the poem as a whole