What We Once Had

About my mom and our very rough past.

How could you stand me

when I treated you like s**t,

when I bled right in front of you

and I didn't care a bit. 

You always tried to comfort me

when I tried to kill the pain,

when suicidal hate was all I had

and your efforts went in vain.

How did you always love me

when I came home drunk and high,

when I yelled out that I hated you 

and ran without goodbye. 

How did you save my life

when my wrists were painted red,

with one-hundred and seventy-two cuts

because of you, I am not dead.

Why did your face appear 

when I tried to drown myself,

why did I think I hated you

when you only wanted to help.

I hate myself now

for the way I treated you,

I'm sorry mom, I really am

but now we're one not two.

Separated over the desolate miles 

and emotions that drive us mad,

but still I miss your voice at night

I miss, what we once had. 

Reviews

[Felicity Winter]

Awe I like this.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Awe this is sad. I can tell that you really love your Mom. For all the poems you write for her. You should be with her because I know you miss her. I liked this poem though....and trust me I don't know how you feel. I have my Mom with me. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Krista]

That is a very sad poem and it gave me an idea for a poem actually. I know how hard it is to get along with your parents sometimes. I have a really rough past with my mom as well. I tend to avoid her.

[FireFly15]

This is beautiful...I dont know what to say, I'm speachless.

100/100

[Valentine]

Sad and well written..if she is still on this earth, call her and tell her how sorry you are, if not, look up at the sky and ask God to forgive you and let your mom know,,lola nd God bless..Val

[Mistaken]

This is simply magnificient

[Erin_is_peace]

Wow this is so sad. I nknow how you felt when you screamed at the one who only wanted to help. I've done the same a time or two. When it's all said and done you can't do anything about it and you feel like s**t. But then for some odd reason hope sometimes enters into the situation. Who knows why but it makes it better. I'm sorry that these things have happened to you and I hope their in the past now

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Apologetic for the past. Not realizing what we have is the curse of youth.

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes the nature of men. We appreciate things when they are gone. The story was powerful. The description and detail told of deed done in the heat of hate and confusion. I like the ending. Sometime it is harder to forgive yourself then to be forgiven by the sweet woman. A excellent poem. I have a few of these stories myself.
Coyote

[MusicMartyrs]

very relateable, i think all children at some point have many falling outs with their parents and once you've grown up you realize what you didn't before. it's great that you can get your feelings out in a wonderful piece of writing, now it's time to let the past become irrelevant and work on how to change for the future.
incredible work!