When I Close My Eyes

Every time I close my eyes

your voice is all I hear,

feeling your lips upon my neck 

fingertips across my ear. 

Our hearts beat as one 

with our hair entwined,

your skin soft as silk 

your chest on mine. 

Every time I close my eyes 

I feel my abs constrict,

feeling your nails dig in my back

you made me this addict. 

With your legs around my waist

I close my sweaty eyes,

and when they open, you are not there

cause we said our last goodbyes.

 

Author's Note

Not the best piece, didn't turn out the way I wanted.

Reviews

[deeps]

I think this is a very well written write.
Wonderful flow and rhyme. Like this alot!

[Bette]

well done.

[Jane Doe]

i do belive coyote has comented right on the dot u might as well tell everyone boutsweaty eyes really

[Jane Doe]

its good

[jen]

very personal and poignant .... a memory wrapped up in a wish... i think this is sad and lovely

[YourXArtist]

for not turning out the way you wanted, i say this piece is pretty good. You write really great poetry. This one's sad at the end...but still pretty good.

[Raven Radke]

Nice work
I actually understood it when I got to the part when it said sweaty eyes!
It was just like a big smack in the face! Soo yeah but very nice write tho!

[Keevan]

this was pretty good. but, just like Charles Banks Jr., I am, too, wondering what sweaty eyes means.

[Just Charles]

Interesting piece of work. I especially enjoyed the closeness between lovers. However I do have one inquiry. Sweaty eyes? What does that mean?

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is a good piece. i love it. everything that you write is excellent:)