The Black Ravine

My guitar rings empty

as the moon falls down,

with the sound of the darkness

and the touch of the rain.

No stars shine bright tonight

no sun to light my world,

what used to be so close 

now lingers far away.

A dark ravine below 

a black abyss of pain,

a knife lodged in my back

as I slowly fade away.

Into the nothing

into the black,

the sun wont shine tonight

oh how I want it back.

Reviews

[the girl dressed in bla..]

this is great!

[VioletRose]

Wow! this was a very intense poem! And it was VERY well written! I LOVED IT

[Laura Nikkinen]

Wow. I really got into it by the second stanza (or the way I see it... a verse). I don't know, if you are a song writer or not (am I reading too literally into it now?), but... This poem here could be turned into a song of "blues", easily I'd say. It oozes blues to me. The flow is nice, but... With the first part the flow is interrupted by "and the touch of rain", I feel the word "and" ends the introduction to the story here really fast, but hey... that's just me. The second verse (I insist on it being a song now) is perfect in my world... But yeah. I could write a page with my opinions on this piece. Shelving it.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I love it. It is deep and beautiful. I like the writing for this one. Thanks for sharing with me. :)

[Rainey]

This, is deep. So much emotion

[r]

i really like this piece... nice work

[Chelsea.]

nice job, i like how it flows.

[Fallen Angel]

wow brilliant piece of writing.. keep it up

[YourXArtist]

wow.this is really dark....amazing though ^_^

[Impulse]

I really like this piece. Dark, mysterious, yet hinting at something more... Beautiful =]