Walk For You

I walked across the entire city, from end to end, just to see her face.

I walked across this snow swept city

to see your perfect face,

I walked right through the freezing air

to feel your warm embrace...

 

I walked right through the empty night

under the moons' soft glow,

I walked until I saw you there

sheltered from all the snow.

 

You saw me stand there all alone

your eyes defied the stars,

time stood still as our hearts beat on

that moment forever ours.

 

You took me in your warm embrace

and gave me love's sweet kiss,

you took away the pain I felt

it's you I've always missed.

 

Then the moon struck high

and the door was locked,

we said goodbyes

and then I walked.

Author's Note

I intentionally made the ending seem rushed/ abrupt to symbolize that a moment so perfect, so surreal, can be over before you know it. So cherish the moments that you get so you can look back on these moments and be able to feel how you were feeling then. Moments come and go in a heart beat, memories will last forever.

Reviews

[Jocelin]

So cute i love it :P

[alison13]

this is amazing, though i was kinda cut on the last line 'and then i walked' like, it's over? and then i read the author's note. haha.
okay, your details was perfect that you could see the event happening. great job. :)

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I loved it. Great job. It was brilliant. :)

[Ambrosia]

I'm jealous I didn't write this....it's perfect. :)

[Bette]

well done.

[Fallen Angel]

wow i really liked this poem. i think you really captured the feel of a moment. i am def adding this to my library. you are a talented writer.

[Neil]

I was sufficiently moved by reading your latest poem to look at what else you have written and found this. Again a remarkable poem and the ending here is exactly right. I wonder if I would have found the rationale behind the break of beat and rhyme in the last line without your explanation. Sometimes explanations whilst explaining the reason the poet thought he wrote the line miss or restrict the readers own interpretation. when TS Eliot was told of some complex interpretation of one of his lines (and his lines are always complex except in Macavity) he commented "I did not know I was so clever". Maybe you also dont understand the full meaning to you and others of the last line and that is the magic and mystery of poetry.

Here I especially liked the deterioration of the rhyme from the classic "snow/glow" through the almost rhyme of "stars/ours" to the half rhyme "Kiss/missed" to the final assonance of "Locked/Walked". Which I hope has you saying that you did not know you were so clever thereby proving my point which is really that when you open the doore to yourself to writing poetry you have no idea what will come in. Of course you could just indeed have been so clever.......

Neil

Neil

[Raven Radke]

very nice writing! Lovely it made me smile!

[FireFly15]

I love this. Its so alluring. Very well done ^_^

[qaralynn]

great poem! love it