I Can See Us

 I can see us in a future day 

when our hair is turning a smoky grey.

I can see us when we're eighty-two

it will still be us and I'll still have you.

I can see us walking through the sand

along the beach, hand in hand.

 

I can see us through the ups and downs 

helping eachother through the frowns.

I can see us watching the sun set glow

and the one thing I will always know,

I will love you till my dying day

and as I lay there I will say.

 

I could always walk with you through the sand

along the beach, hand in hand.

I could always help you through the ups and downs

create a smile from a frown.

But the one thing I could never see

is how I could have lived my life if there was never a you and me.

 

Author's Note

I love you so much Christina. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Reviews

[Theresa]

This is so beautiful. I think every person in the world wants someone that they can spend the rest of their life with and I think you captured that feeling perfectly in this poem. It's romantic and really well written. The words flow and everything about it just works. I love the lines:
"I can see us in a future day
when our hair is turning a smoky grey.
I can see us when we're eighty-two
it will still be us and I'll still have you."
Seriously nicely done.

[Essie]

I really enjoyed this read. The beginning- "I can see us in a future day, when our hair is turning a smoky grey"
caught my attention and shows an amazing connection that is described throughout the piece. It's beautifully written and has a really nice flow to it. Great write!

[The Wave]

beautiful.

this made me smile so much, not just for the words itself but because of the style used in this one. repeating the words, "i can see us..." was a smart move to make so its an instant favorite for all.

overall, towards the end of this it does get a little wordy and its not as smooth as the beginning, but it contains so much great imagery.
good job.

[Kayla]

OMG!! That was sooooo beautiful!! One of the most beautifulest things I have ever read!!

[carlyraye 96]

aww this is adorable!

[Lilly]

so so so amazing! this is really well written, so full of emotion and its incredibly sweet/romantic.
that has to be a goal in life - to find your "other half"
really like this :)

[Surrealstorm]

This is very sweet, I love the sentiment! The poem flowed so well and the emotions were very strong. The only critique I have is that in the second paragraph in the second line there need to be a space between "eachother". But that's a minor thing. Wonderful poem!

[Kayla_May]

that was intense and so beautiful =] i can relate to that

[BriAnna Wyble]

this is so sweet!
i loved it :]

[Jane Doe]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww this is soooooooooooooooooooooo cute luv man
abbie

[deeps]

This is a wonderful expressed write here!
Full of feeling, very well written.