Chapter 2

"And where the hell have you been? Do you think you can just show up late to my house without an explantion?! Well, newsflash, you thought wrong!"

She smacked me across the face. I fell against a wall. My mother always did that. I clearly told her why I was late! And she still beats me! I hated her. But feared her, more than anthing.."Im..I-I'm sorry mother. I can explain. .If you'd just-"

"I do not care what your lame a*s excuse is this time! Get to your room!" I walked up the stairs. I know I wouldn't be coming down tonight. I sat on my bed. Crying, very harshly. I needed a fix. I didn't smoke or drink to get rid of this anger. No, not anymore. I did something even more dangerous. Instead, I searched through my room, I was almost running for the silver metal. I couldn't find it. Had she taken it? Not very likely, since she didnt care about me.. I ran to my bathroom. I looked for my razor. It wasn't there either! Where was everything? The addiction to this was overwhelming. I had it. That was it. I ran to my dresser and grabbed a picture. It was my mom and me at the zoo when I was 12. When everything was fine, and she wasn't like this. I smashed the picture with my fist. I just wanted the glass, even though destroying that picture felt so good. I took the sharpest piece and shoved it into my arm. The pain soothed everything that was going wrong. It soothed my fight with my mother. My worries about school, my secret hatred for my mother. Everything. It took my mind off my absent father and brother. It killed memories.

  This pain was so different from a paper cut, or a scratch. It meant something. It meant my problem was solved. It meant I was safe in my hatred.

  I cleaned up, knowing that it could easily get infected, and bandaged my arm. That was one thing I was certin I wasn't gonna let happen. 

  Something weird came over me. I wanted comfort. I thought about calling Dr. Marley, my therapist, but decided against the terrible idea. He told me mom everything. Instead, I threw my bag open and dumped it on my bed. I just wanted my cell phone. Once I had found it, I searched through the numbers I had. Very few. One stopped the scrolling list. Alex, Alex Sheen. This was my one and only semi-friend in the world. The only person who actually enjoyed my company to some degree. I called him, feeing strange about the decision. The phone rang a couple times and he picked up. "Hello?'' he sounded distant. Kind of, sad.

"Hi, uh, Alex. I have a question." I was nervous to talk to him, because I didnt wanna seem desperate. I hadn't talked to him in ages.

"Yea? What is it Aiden?" He didn't sound angry, but actually interested. I loved that. He cared about what I had to say.

"Do you wanna, uhm, get together tonight? Around, 11-ish?"

Long pause. I was about to go into shock. I was so relived when he said, "Uhm. Sure. What is it you were thinking about doing?"

"Oh, well. What about. . . .Sitting at Hill Crest? Just 'hanging'?

I knew what hanging meant. So did he, which I was relieved to know. "Yea, Aiden. That sounds good. Meet you there...But, Uh. How have you been? Are you alright? I haven't heard from you in forever."

"Yah, I just, wanted something to do. I was just scrolling through my phone, and I saw your number. Seemed like a better idea than staying at home right now..." Alex knew. Secretly. I hadn't exactly told him. But I led on about my mom's abusiveness. He figured it out. But never confronted me about it. "Oh, I see. well. Okay, I'm glad you called. I'll see oyu tonight then." "Yeah, thanks, Alex. Uhh, Bye." "Bye, Aiden."

Wow! I felt..akward. I felt desperate. I felt stupid. I only wated comforting.. I had to go through with it now. Which means, I would have to sneak out my window. Cerfew in this prison was ten. Well, Oh well!. I had said eleven on purpose.

 

I heard my mom yelling. She sounded hurt. I started rushing down stairs, but I stopped. Why was I concerned? What was I doing? Helping the thing that killed me? I always did this to myself! You hate her, You hate her! I yelled it at myself, in my head of course. I stopped. I was better than her.

She wasn't hurt actually. She was lying on the kitchen floor holding her arm. I ran and bent down to help her. "Mom. Mom! Are you okay? What happened?!" I sounded worried, but I wasn't really, I was too sympathetic..

"Oh dear! I ran into the kitchen from the back door. I thought I saw something in the house and I. . .I fell in a head rush. I don't know what else happened!"

Oh geez. I've heard that one before. Whatever.. She was trying To cover up the fact that there was a guy here. Yah. She brings them here all the time. She claims she's trying to find a new husband.  I figured he rejected her, and she got too clingy. He pushed her away, and she fell. That's why the back door was open. And that's why my mom, was crying. She's so desperate. So..Sickening.

What kind of person am I? She's my mother!

She needed me. She's told me I was her safety net. But I didn't think I was anything to her. My mom needed power. She was crazed and power hungry. The doctors said it was a sign of bi-polar behavior. My mom was indeed bi-polar. But I didn't care, only because she refused help, and she wouldn't believe it. She has always denied the facts. She still believes that I'm a loving daughter who cares for her mum. But she was wrong. She knew some things, and deined others.

 That's why one moment, we could be happy and having conversation in a nice, soft tone. And the next, I could be on the ground with a black eye. She didn't care that I hated her, she kept me around for closure. But I was giving in. And I was wrong to do that.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar(:

Reviews

[halflives]

Wow. The mother is tough, yet she doesn't know how to control her emotions. That's a dangerous mix. Though I would be careful about defying her! Aiden is a good character, with lots of anger built up inside and hatred needing to escape. The only way he can find escape is through self-harm, which is something I do not reccommend in real life. I know with some people it's true, but from my own personal experience, the pain DOES NOT make anything better. But it may have worked for Aiden because I've never been under that extreme circumstances. And I've never seriously commited self harm. Overall, a very good storyline, and interesting characters! I can't wait to see what happens with Alex and Aiden. Reading on!...

[Aimee]

Again, really good.
[:

I wonder what's gonna happen next....O: