You feel so close, but..

A Poem by LivelyLilac

Just a story about a girl whose feelings are very conflicted

You feel so close, but why do you feel so far?

It’s like you’re right here next to me, but you stray away from my heart

I’m nervous that I will continue feeling this way

Because at the end of the day, I know what “she” will say.

She won’t accept it, and I know this

None of these relationships have shown me pure bliss

Despite the happiness you give me

It goes against the morals I’d like to see

If I could tell you, what would you say?

Would you leave me alone at the end of the day?

Or would you make an attempt to keep us strong

So that maybe " just maybe " we could definitely belong

“Education” should be at the same level, they insist

Does it really have to be as hard as this?

You seem so unmotivated, it’s almost like nothing matters

I hope this won’t become a recurrent pattern

I really do love you

That’s why I’m stuck between the truths

Of what happens when being with another,

One that doesn't know my semi-strict mother

I really wish I could tell you this,

But it’s such a twisted wish

I know that things will likely end badly

This is how love ends, sadly

So the zone of “relationship” is the furthest we will go

I just don’t want to feed you with such false hope

I already told you marriage wasn't my intent

I remember those words were exactly what I sent

You say I could change my mind, but there’s only a small chance

That is if you catch me so far into your endless trance

My heart kept strung up on a delicate thread

I hope the end I see won’t end with our dread

Long distance has always been such a lonely thing

Desolate as the melodies of songs that I often sing

I want to know the answer to all of this

If you’re out of my life, you will surely be missed.

© 2015 LivelyLilac

Author's Note

I am posting this as my first poem, I haven't written in quite a while, so please keep this in mind!

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Featured Review

Number Six

Aw. Quite moving.

And quite well-designed too. Seems like you've thought of this for a while (and if you didn't kudos on giving that impression)

Sounds like the person narrating is in quite the struggle, which proves that you conveyed the point you were trying to get to.

I like it. Though, there is one thing I find odd: in the second sentence/verse of your penultimate sonnet, there's an " that's seemingly out of place.
Was it intended?

Regardless, very good start for a first poem. Please continue writing more and more, I'll keep my eyes on you.