Tears Behind The Pain

Dealing with taking care of a sick child...ALONE!

I get the feeling that it’s just not that serious,

Life or death you’re just not that into this,

Proclaiming this unconditional love you have,

Nothing but lies that he will one day realize,

 

How do you create and walk away?

But in the bed you so easily laid!

You think cause I’m quiet that I understand,

I don’t understand a man not being a man better yet a father!

 

Your blood, your flesh, YOUR DNA!

Yet you go on living your life while MY SON is in pain!

You surely have no idea of what he goes through,

Matter of fact you have no idea of what “I” go through!

 

Watching him in pain and the pain felt when he even calls your name!

For what reason I can’t even begin to comprehend or explain,

Everybody knows only mommy takes care of him when he’s sick,

Yet here goes the absent father getting all my credit, what an insult!

 

It’s mommy who gets up in the middle of the night,

It’s mommy who stays in the hospital overnight,

It’s mommy who takes him to his specialist,

It’s mommy that hears his damn cries!

 

And then there is you,

The one who does nothing,

The one who he holds so high and mighty,

The one who does not realize everyday of your life you are fighting!

 

Fighting to stay healthy!

Fighting to be pain free!

Fighting between life and death!

Fighting for your love that is only given conveniently!

 

What happens to me?

The stress of doing it on my own,

I must be in some alter universe or in delusion

I don’t recall conceiving him on my own!

 

I’m tired!!!

Physically, emotionally, and mentally drained!

Week after week dealing with my son and his pain!

The same exact pain I live with now he feels the same!

 

Maybe I’m too emotional because I know the aches,

Then again maybe you just aren’t emotional enough!

I know what it feels like not to be able to walk or move,

I know what it feels like to ball up in a corner suffering!

 

I wish I could feel his pain for him,

Or if I had to give my life so he’d never hurt again,

But I guess ONLY “I” really love my own creation!

After all it is only “I” who is carrying the load of his disease!!!

 

Reviews

[Li Li]

What an emotional ride.....

It's not fair when the mother has to do it all. Knowing, she's not the only one that created the current situation at hand. You have to pull a lot of strength out of nowhere when you become a mother. It would be great to get that help that SHOULD be there.

You will gain more from your suffering in the long run. All people will one day receive for all they've given; and you've given a lot ma.

Keep your head up. Never worry about the next person. In the end it should always be about "you" and YOURS.

Bless!