The Creak Family (Murder story thing)

I did this 3 years ago :o

Story Plan

The Creak family

The Creak family live in a small town in the outskirts of London. It is known be a nice quiet town, all the people there are friendly and easy to get along with. The Creak family own quite a large house, definately the biggest house in the town. The family are well known also as Fred Creak owns his own popular cigarette factory in central London. They are a very rich family with great income as the cigarette factory is large and in good buisness. According to the people of the town which the family live they are a "loveable, down to earth family"

Their sons, Oli their youngest hates being rich and hates the family buisness. The family have trouble with him for going out late at night and making his reputation look astonishingly bad. Fred Creak wants Oli to work in his cigarette factory when he turns eighteen but Oli has other plans and wants his dad to shut the factory down. This broke out into a fight on 12th Februrary 2006 and they havent been acting like father and son since.

Oli has been going out with a local girl named Vikki Paraser for six months now, no one knows this except Oli's best friend Tay. Tay had promised not to tell anyone about their relationship as Olis dad wants him to go out with Sarah whom works at Olis dads factory, she is rich and very pretty, although Oli thinks the opposite.

 

Character Facts

Name: Oliver (Oli)

Surname: Creak

Relationship: Yougest sibling of Belle and Fred Creak, has older brother named Jesse. Has been going out with Vikki Paraser for six months and only his best friend Tay knows.

Age: 17

Description: Slender male, medium length black hair and blue eyes.

 

 

Name: Jesse

Surname: Creak

Relationship: Oldest sibling of Fred and Belle Creak. Has younger brother named Oli

Age: 19

Description: Slender male, blonde hair and brown eyes.

 

Name: Belle

Surname: Creak

Relationship: Mother of Jesse and Oli Creak and wife to Fred Creak.

Age: 43

Description: Long brown hair and grey eyes. Slender built.

 

Name: Fred

Surname: Creak

Relationship: Husband to Belle Creak, Father of Oli and Jesse. Best Friend is Fraser Collins, the father of Sarah.

Age: 46

Description: Short brown hair and brown eyes. Medium built.

 

Name: Tay

Surname: Unberland

Relationship: Olis best friend and also a friend of the Creak family.

Age: 23

Description: Pink long hair and brown eyes, slender male.

 

 

Name: Dorothy

Surname: Redimp

Relationship: Good friend of all the Creak family, maid of the family and Tays step auntie.

Age: 39

Description: Blonde short hair, hazel eyes and large built

 

Name: Sharnie

Surname: Paraser

Relationship: Owns nearby cafe, talks to the family sometimes. Mother of Vikki Paraser.

Age: 45

Description: Medium built, white long hair and green eyes

 

Name: Vikki

Surname: Paraser

Relationship: Mother is Sharnie Paraser knows the Creak family and is going out with their son Oli but they do not know this nor does her mother. Vikki isnt aware Tay knows about her an Oli going out.

Age: 16

Description: Long blonde hair and blue eyes. slender female

 

Name: Sarah

Surname: Collins

Relationship: Knows Fred Creak as she works for him her father also used to be Fred Creaks best friend before he died about 2 months ago.

 

Story

On the 13th of Februrary 2007 there was 2 bodies that were discoveed by a lake about 3/4 miles from the Creaks family home. The bodies have been identified to be Dorothy Redimp and Oliver Creak's. Dorothy suffered a gun shot in the back of her head aswell as a stab wound on her right hip. Oliver had suffered 3 stab wounds in his stomach as well as one in his left arm. He had also been tied to a tree and left for dead. The knife had been found but only held Olivers DNA therefore, the killer is unknown. The date now is 14th March about a month or so after the murders took place. In this trembling month the Creak family have been in awful shock after loosing their close friend and theur young son whom had high expectations to come of him.

Vikki Paraser commited suicide on the 12th march exacly a month after the murders. She hung herself at the tree where Oli had been found dead. Vikki left a note before she died saying....

 

"My heart is no longer full

But broken in tears,

I can't live tomorrow,

I can't face my fears,

To be left to die,

I'm full of sorrow,

Or to be left to cry

and my spirit to follow,

I'd rather die!"

another note read...

"So you all know my one and truly love has passed over

and I can't cope

and I can't laugh

and I can't cry

and I can't be happy

and I can't be sad

and I can't be anything you ask of me, to be honest i can't even live.

So morn my grave all you want, I'm never coming back.

Even if you pay me a million pounds, I still wont be there for you.

Cause NOTHING can fix a broken heart and I need that FULL heart to survive.

To all my friends and family, goodbye.

....and YESyou may call this a Romeo and Julliet but this is so much more than a play.

This is love and reality.

My heart is broken and the other half isnt coming here

so, I have to go to it. I have to find it.

Then, I can look myself in the mirror

and cope

and laugh

and cry

and be happy

and be sad

and be anything you want me to be cause ill have the other half of my heart.

so long. Vikki X

 

 

 

 

sorry for the mistakes. This may need re writing as I did this ages ago!

 

....who do you think the killer is then?  :)

1.Jesse

2.Belle

3.Fred

5.Tay

6.Sharnie

7.Vikki

8.Sarah

 

Author's Note

haha i did this ages ago!

Reviews

[Matthew D. Ford]

Brilliant! I love mysteries and this sounds like a great one. I'm just a bit uneasy of the cigarette factory job. It's realistic and fitting, but what other business could the family own? A nice, rich family and a cigarette family. I don't know. But I love the characters. They're physical appearances sound just like Anime characters. Although I'm not much into Anime, I still love the characters. I would love to read the full story. This reminds me a little of classic English literature, the works of Charles Dickens, Agatha Christie and Truman Capote. Weary and odd, but having a superior and surprising climax, with plenty of red herring.

I do not know who the killer is. Jesse, Tay and Vikki are out of the question. I don't think that Belle would kill her son and friend and have the strength to tie one to the tree. That leaves Fred, Sharnie, and Sarah. With Fred, perhaps he tried to get Oli and Sarah to go out, or got into another fight with Oli, or he just got so overwhelmed with disappoint that he killed Oli. Perhaps Sharnie found out about Vikki and Oli and killed Oli and maybe Dorothy tried to protect Oli and got herself killed. Or then again, Sarah could have been jealous of Vikki and Oli and found out about their relationship. But I think I'll boil it down to Fred or Sarah. This is one tough cookie. Will this be a novel, novella, or short story? I would love to read it. Great job!