Title inspired by a line on lyrics 'Roses in the Hospital'. All further content right from my twisted mind. :)
Sleeping candlelights and opium-scent made in China old incenses - bedrooms as hidden sects - a personal bailey. Restless pedestal elevating numb feelings and porcelain attempts of carving fearful perspectives - wisdom cracks like thin ice.
Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song, hear the fingerprints Reaching out strings, so angry, full of restricted meaning Yet like a well-educated, bright variation of compulsive wankering.
Destroy impetus and draw a perfect yelling out of a crucifix Create suffering - blood wasting - Put it all on the washing-machine And wear again your armour of pain It smells like sweet nursery.
Take off all the vanity trash in shape of H&M's Skin wrapping, self-controlled as diets - natural velvet exquisite pigmented flash Shaved heads, and smiles reflecting like a torn, burnt out bouquet of forever-silent dahlias.
Title inspired by a line on lyrics 'Roses in the Hospital'. All further content right from my twisted mind. :)
P.S.: Do you think I should set this as 'Mature''? Your opinion is very important. Thanks.
My Review
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"Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song,
hear the fingerprints
Reaching out strings, so angry,
full of restricted meaning
Yet like a well-educated, bright
variation of compulsive wankering."
This stanza was great. I found myself a little confused by this poem though. Probably because I have never heard of the song =P. But I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing! :)
"porcelain attempts of carving
fearful perspectives -
wisdom cracks like thin ice"..
"Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song.."
the lines are just amazing..could quote the entire poem..! i think you make the reader experience an intensity of conflict thats hard to put to words..you should be proud of this one..:)
is this the piece you are proud of?? if not add it to your list! btw, your twisted mind is brilliant. what an original thought process and i do love this style of writing.
"Distorted guitar solos - here lies a naked song,
hear the fingerprints
Reaching out strings, so angry,
full of restricted meaning
Yet like a well-educated, bright
variation of compulsive wankering."
This stanza was great. I found myself a little confused by this poem though. Probably because I have never heard of the song =P. But I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing! :)
You can if that would make you feel more comfortable bu I see nothing wrong with leaving it where it is--- But then I do not quite get the idea of the poem
save that it has a sense of hopelessness about it Is this a death ward in a hospital if so than the poem makes sense but if I am mistaken than----?
More about me:
Music I like: Manic Street Preachers. Depeche Mode. Chris Cornell. Soundgarden. Smashing Pumpkins. Suede. Pulp. Oasis. The Clash. Tears for Fears. Stereophonics. John Lennon. Da.. more..