I Still Remember (A Ballad by Karina Longo and Tom Lord)

This is inspired by ThePogues song "Fairytale Of New York". Two voices - a man and a woman. Bittersweet bundle of misery.

BOLD for "THE MAN".

ITALIC for "THE WOMAN". 

UNDERLINE when it's "BOTH".

Today I woke with cracks in my eyes

One more day, fluids and ghosts to be left behind

I pretended I didn't want you to see but secretly I did

As the best part of me is rejected by fear

As the worst part of you is something I'd prefer to forget

 

I keep remembering your words - as sharp as thorns

Sylvia, Emily, Christina, Richey, your words were sharper

But of course it doesn't mean you were any better

I never said I was better

You always told me anyway that you could never forget me

My lies hurt you and your truth hurt you

Now you walk hand in hand in the company of pride

and your empty kisses mean nothing to no-one

Being alone is better oh so better, I hated to look in your eyes

 

The only thing you gave me was the suffocation I am bored of

The only thing you gave me was an empty soul with no home, the repeat of inertia - glad you broke my heart

 

BRIDGE: I had a dream and it filled me with wonder - you had other plans

My only dream was to be with you - but you were blind and content

I was never content and always blind

The shops are all closed, the winter is coming, the sun now is vanishing altogether with you

winter has darkened your heart and the sun is now redundant to me

 

CHORUS: I've heard it all, I've seen it all -I still remember,

on a sunny day you've promised me rain

On a rainy day you told me secrets

On loveless days you promised me love

All over again 

Reviews

[Patches I'm not so new..]

This is good writing this is sad writing this is melancholy writing I like dialouge poems but they are hard to come by this is outstanding the reader can here the two persona's voices as if through a thin wall all the words clear and the anguish palatable. Well done my friend well done indeed!

[shedevil]

this was wow, a great write altogether im moved

[Richard Williams]

Waking with "cracks in my eyes" and words, "sharp as thorns" real good.

[A]

I personally find dialogue poems very challenging but you apparently mastered it
I enjoyed the monologue and the layout was helpful to read and understand everything perfectly
nicely done.
keep it up :))

[Midnight_Mystery]

Excellent. loved this. deep and moving

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Love the style writing in this poem! Excellent write!

[Gone]

This is very good. held my full attention and took me right there. Oh, the meaninless pain of a dead relationship. Empty and hollow with only the wounds left. Old wounds and new wounds, callouses and bitternes, resentment and Hopelessness.

[Rose Masen]

This is beautiful. I love the monologue between both of these characters. They each have a justification for the previous accusations or comments. I love it!