He Loves Me Not

He Loves Me Not

It's not love.

It's not.

It is impossible to love someone so vastly different to you

Someone that you fight with as much,
If not more, than you don't.
Someone that you can never agree with
In regards to politics, or relgion or anything much at all

So it's not love.
But I feel his pain as keenly as if it were my own
I would trade my soul to lessen his grief.
And if he were to let me,
I would hold him through every dark night
Where nightmares claim him, sleep seems impossible
And the bottle is the only cure he sees

It's not love.
So what if my heart drops to my toes
When I discover that he's in love with my bestfriend?
So what if the idea of him
With her
Or most others, for that matter
Makes me feel physically sick?

See it's not love.
Because he's family
In every way that matters, at least.
He's been there as long as I recall
Ever constant
Ever there if I truly needed him
And the day he's not is one I never want to see

But it's not love.
It's not.
Because love is not supposed to last,
The very nature of humanity dictates as such
Because loving him means one day loosing him
And I will not loose him -
Cannot loose him.