Survival

I think, before we go any further, there are some things that I need you to know.

Because it's all well and good us going on and pretending like last year never happened, but it did. 

And it's not something that I can easily forget. 

Firstly, I need you to understand how weak you made me feel. 

How you made me feel insane.

How I sat and stared, unblinking at a blank wall for three weeks before I finally found the strength to drag myself back up from the ground. 

How you are one of the main reasons that I no longer trust myself.

Secondly, I need you to know that I got over you.

I really did. 

I threw your name and everything that I was still carrying with me from that into a lake on New Years day and I let it go. 

I let you go. 

And I hardly thought about you from then on out. 

I went on with my life, I loved and I lived and I laughed and I dared and I some of the most incredible things, and lived through some of the worst. 

Finally, I need you to see that I want this to work.

Someone once told me that second time around things just make more sense and I truly believe that is the case here.

We weren't ready for each other then, but maybe we are now.

I need you to see that I want this to work.

But I don't need it too. 

I have survived the loss of you before, darling. 

And I will survive it again.