Chapter 1 Welcome to My Hell

Scarlet is late to class, missing all the morning gosip about the mysterious new student.

“Damn! I'm going to be late again!” Scarlet said in her head, black combat boots stomping against the pavement as she ran making her way up the steps of Boulevard High School, when Principle Planes stopped her.

“Late again Miss. Caster?” he said.

          “I wouldn't be that late if you hadn’t stop me” she replied.

“Well I could add an after school detention on top of the detention you get for being late for your third time this week, It’s only the third week of the new school year Miss. Caster, this isn’t going to be a repeat of last year is it?”

          “No, now may I please go to my locker? I would like to get to class” she said as she stepped aside and hurried to her locker. Scarlet was walking to class when suddenly Casandra the most popular girl in the school and head cheerleader knocked Scarlet's binder, text book, and note book out of her hands.

“Oops, sorry my bad” Casandra said with a snicker

“What do you want Casandra? If you haven't noticed I'm late enough as it is” Scarlet said as she picked up her binder, text book, note book, and a few loose papers.

“Oh me? I'm just taking the attendance to the office” Casandra said with a sly smile “You better hurry up and get to class, Mr. Park is teaching a wonderful science lesson on amoeba” she laughed and headed to the office.

          Scarlet tried to sneak into class and avoid a five minuet lecture from Mr. Park on the importance of being on time and ready to learn but sadly her class mates were too immature as the class soon filed with snickers and giggles and a few kids yelling out “LATE”. Scarlet took her seat and soon was staring eye to eye with the bushy faced Mr. Park. He glared down at Scarlet who was tapping her fingers on the desk

“This is your third time late to class this week, Miss Scarlet. I think I see a phone call home in your future”.

          Mr. Park may be the science teacher but on the weekends he was some kind of hippie fountain teller, he says he likes to bring others peace and happiness yet every day he brings pain and suffering to the students around him. Every once in a while you will catch him say something like “Oh I see __ in your future” or “Doing well on this test will bring you luck”.

I guess he does it to encourage the students but if you ask me it just irritates them.

          “Well?” he said snapping Scarlet out of her thoughts.

“What? Oh sorry” she smiled. Mr. Park sighed and walked back to the chalk board.

“Try not to be more than five minutes late and I might just let it slid” he said while writing stuff on the board. Scarlet sunk down into her chair with a relief and flipped open her note book and started to copy down notes.

 

The rest of the morning went by and before Scarlet knew it was lunch time. With a brown sack in hand she made her way outside to a table under a nice shady tree. She began to open her bag when a group of voices called out “Hey!” Scarlet turned around and saw her group of misfit friends. Talon, Rose, Salem, and Luna all sat around the lunch table.

“There's our little late bird” Talon said while stuffing sloppy Joe in his mouth.

“Shut up!  How can you eat that crap? It’s nasty” Scarlet said as she pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

“Whatever” Talon said.

“Don't talk with your mouth full its gross” Rose said in disgust as she bit down on an apple.

“Hey did you here? There’s a new student! And he's going to be in our L.A and S.S class!” said Luna chiming into the conversation.

          “Really? What does he look like?” Scarlet asked.

“No one knows, no one seen him yet” Luna replied.

“I heard one kid say he’s a foreign transfer student” Salem pointed out.

“Wow, we’ve never had a transfer student, usually the exchange students can’t last more than a week” laughed Rose.

“How do we even know this guy exists?” scoffed talon.

“I heard Principle Planes talking about the new student when I took in the attendance this morning, he said the new kids name is Damon Rue” insisted Luna.

“I guess we find out after lunch” Scarlet said, right as the bell rang.

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

First off... Two Thumbs up for the story being written in 3rd person! That alone makes it much easier to read. Secondly... You've got a couple of spelling errors in it...things like..."slid" when you meant "slide", spell checkers don't catch those types usually.

Plot wise... I'm looking for it... but I don't see it yet in the first chapter.

I like your descriptions, your names of characters and the individual scenes within the writing. I felt that the scenes were a bit blocky leading from one to the other... almost as if each scene was imagined in a manga and the writing attached to the imagery. There are some of the scenes that don't have much of a transition or the transition just clunks... for example when the class cheerleader comes out of nowhere to nock the binder free... I felt there should be something just before that would clue the reader into what might happen... even if it's just the main character looking up and seeing the character walking past with a slight smirk on her face just before.

All in all thought I think you've come up with a good idea and I'm sure as I read more I'll find the plot line get pulled in.

Keep up the great effort!

[KLH]

Thank you so much, I appreciate your feed back and personally I would agree with you about the transitions, I had forgotten how important that is to the reader.