Ah, Monopoly :) I like the relation you gave in this. But anyways, the game is a lot like life and how we live, when often, we are tired of playing over and over after awhile. The game gets old and we know what our next moves are going to be, know what advice the psychiatrist will give us next and what we are told to give up in order for a proper recovery. We know all the rules, know every move, shouldn't we have won by now? It should have been as easy as slicing a piece of cake, but not as difficult as moving bricks.
Thank you so much! :) Yeah, from the start, I've always thought of struggling with mental illness wa.. read moreThank you so much! :) Yeah, from the start, I've always thought of struggling with mental illness was like a game.
"The milky, white dice are rolled.
My tarnished silver pawn is moved.
As I read the first line out loud, I felt awkward. Honestly, I felt it tampered with the flow. However, here is the good news; poetry does not "need" punctuation. In addition, this is the only problem I had with the "flow."
CONTENT
FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE & VOCABULARY I ENJOY
1. "Milky"
2. silver pawn
3. plastic houses
FORMAT & INTERPRETATION
1. I am a little confused as to why you crossed out the word "banker." However, that is the fault of mine, not yours.
2. I love how you related the generic quality of the "board game" and "life."
3. I love how you use the blank line to emphasize objectively.
CONCLUSION
FAVORITE QUOTE:
"The banker psychiatrist
Deals the currency medication"
Primarily, I connect to this line because I related it to the most.
ADVICE:
1. Educate yourself.
2. Be yourself.
3. Love yourself.
Love,
Ria
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thanks so much for the elaborate review!
11 Years Ago
You are very welcome:D Your poetry speaks to me, dearie! :D
The imagery to this made my mind go "Woahhh". A really good read, you capture the idea of drug monopoly very well! The structure helps it pack that emotional punch too, a good write :D
This is a great poem and I understand your concept. Your vocabulary and choice of words are great and put an image that flows around my head. Great peom, keep it up
Ah, Monopoly :) I like the relation you gave in this. But anyways, the game is a lot like life and how we live, when often, we are tired of playing over and over after awhile. The game gets old and we know what our next moves are going to be, know what advice the psychiatrist will give us next and what we are told to give up in order for a proper recovery. We know all the rules, know every move, shouldn't we have won by now? It should have been as easy as slicing a piece of cake, but not as difficult as moving bricks.
I am thirty years old. I'm dealing with a mood disorder/depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, borderline personality disorder, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. I love writing. and most of my works.. more..