Dancing With My Monster

Sometimes I let the depression take over, wanting to dance along.

Dancing with my Monster
Is oddly comforting sometimes;
Almost alluring. 
I let him caress my hand;
His claws stone cold,
Wrapped with thorns.

 

I enable him to be the lead,
Following the dark music he plays.
If he steps back,
I step back.

 

I stare into his onyx eyes,
Reflecting the fire and ice in mine.
He stares softly,
To not alarm me.

 

He sends flashbacks to swirl around my head.
I invite each one to come and stay. 
I crave to have sight of them,
To be in their presence.

 

He drops water balloons
Through my windows.
I desire more,
But he stores them away.

 

He casts his spell,
Surrounding me with black smoke.
It doesn’t choke me,
I inhale largely.

 

I feel dead,
A zombie,
A ghost.
My mind
And stare,
Blank.

 

I don’t try to shovel my way out.
I would rather dig deeper.
If I try to climb,
He stomps my foot into the ground,
And smacks me across the face.

 

Sometimes it’s best to follow,
For when I do,
I don’t become hurt
Because I’m way too deep
Into the pit.

 

When I follow,
My skin doesn’t become rototilled
Into red streams;
My hands don’t become painted
Shades of black and purple.

 

When I follow,
Nothing can hurt me;
Not even myself,
Because I’m dancing with my monster.
_____________________________________

mental illness awareness jewelry

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed the reading. Any and all criticism is appreciated. Take Care! Stay Strong! :)

Reviews

[Gregory Stires]

i love how you personified your depression into a monster that you do a deadly dance.and how you follow it because the more you dont listen the more you hurt. i also have some problems with depression and i can understand how hard it to fight against it but instead should just go with the flow.also its strange how sometimes our "monsters" are comforting but we have to accept them since they are apart of us whether we like it or not.

[Blue Belle]

Thank you so much for reviewing.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I love that you have personified your mental illness into a Monster.. gosh but it does feel that way sometimes! And the dance.. oh how many times I have done the bipolar dance! I think unless you are mentally ill, you never quite understand the delicate balance between manic and depressed. Your poem brings out all of those characteristics perfectly. I cannot tell you how many times I have felt smashed to the ground by my illness or how many times I've just gone along to get along with my own monster. Thank you for saying what so many need to hear!

[Blue Belle]

:)

[Talismanic]

Pen perfection

[Blue Belle]

Thanks

[Devanshu Rajput]

excellently done....very descriptive.....keep writing.....

[Blue Belle]

Thanks

[needletail]

That is so descriptive I can imagine it!

[Blue Belle]

Thanks :)

[Devanshu Rajput]

welcome

[Vic]

I love your wording! Beautiful!

[Blue Belle]

Thank you very much! :)

[Vic]

You're welcome. I know I just discovered your work today but I must say. I now consider myself a fan. Keep up the good work!

[Blue Belle]

Thank you. I would have my other poems I did have published on this site, but last night I had a breakdown and sort of just deleted all of them because I needed more control over the situation.

[Vic]

I just want you to know if you ever need to talk to anyone about ANYTHING I'm here waiting with two ears. I'm here for you.

[Blue Belle]

I will do the same for you.

[Vic]

Thank you :)