Romance Rock Cakes

A humourous task set by my Creative Writing teacher. See the notes for an explanation.

* Take one Mary Sue and beat vigorously with makeup until obscenely sickening.
* Add two pinches of brainless Adonis and mix until Mary Sue has been thoroughly shared and tossed around between the two.
* Include a shaking of bitchy best friend for best measure.
* Pour in 500ml of angst, remembering to bestow 17 girlish laughs per 0.05ml.
* Leave to congeal until all elements have become increasingly annoyed with each other.
* Include the loss of virginity to brainless Adonis #1 whilst ensuring the best friend acts as a catalyst and go-between.
* Mix well with 3 sprinkles of fluttering eyelashes, and stir until Mary Sue has passed to brainless Adonis #2
* Refridgerate for 12 days until the relationship is completely frosty.
* Pour the thick mixture into a love triangle and hope the mixture settles down.
* Attempt to extract brainless Adonis #2 and mix until Mary Sue and brainless Adonis #1 are together again.
* Ensure Mary Sue and bitchy best friend become reunited through a helpful smattering of the-underdog-friend-that-no-one-noticed-until-now.
* Sing an overly expressive love song over the mixture and re-add brainless Adonis #2, this time with a mix of healthy friendship.
* Stew for 20 minutes' worth of hugs, tears, and kisses.

Serve with a bucket in case the level of sap creates a negative effect for friends & family.

Author's Note

In my creative writing class, we were working on genre. The task was to create a "recipe" for a certain genre, by including all cliché elements. This was to allow us to focus on the essentials. (This recipe does not mean I am against romance, or authors who associate with the Romance genre--that would be somewhat hypocritical) as it is meant to be cycnical about the over-used elements. The concept of a Mary-Sue does not belong to me.

This piece is also not a poem, but there is no classification on Writer's Café for "recipe".

Reviews

[Wicahpi]

This is pretty dang genius if you ask me.
Hope you got an A+ on this!

I enjoyed each ingredient, including the bitchy best friend
and the 'one who know one noticed until now' ...

I actually liked all of it and I think it definitely highlights
your creative thinking ... imagination!

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is pretty cool. A type of poem needed to be read more then once. I like all the details and ideals in your words. I like the style of this poem. It is different but it is very good.
Coyote