Past Admitting

Jessie's story.

Past Admitting

For the first week after the fight, I was fine wallowing in my anger and denying to myself that I cared. Seeing Lyss around school wasn’t easy, but I took routes to avoid her and eventually she began to disappear.

Her disappearance was relative only to her physical self, while the part of me that really needed her as a friend began to attack me. I found myself beginning to get a taste of loneliness, and it was a lot bitterer than I thought it would be.

It didn’t help that I couldn’t talk to James anymore. He was on her side, and even made a comment or two that sounded scarily like the things she had said. They were obviously both blind.

Matt, Richie and Trevor stood by me. Figures, the only ones that would were on a straight path to nowhere. Trevor had more tattoos than I could count. Matt was an on-off drunk. And Richie smoked just about everything that could be smoked.

As entertaining as they were when they were on their various substances, I missed being able to have a serious conversation with anyone.

Devin didn’t count.

He wasn’t allowed to.

He couldn’t.

After a painful half of December of pot and booze passed, I realized that I couldn’t spend the rest of the next three years with the three boys. I had already gotten used to the taste of pot, and I knew any more would get me addicted.

Which meant I had two choices: apologizing, or actually being friends with Devin. The latter was far easier, and much more preferable. I couldn’t apologize to someone who was obviously wrong.

I found myself reminding my mind of this as I walked up Devin’s front steps. Get used to it, Jessie. This was your choice in the first place anyway.

I knocked on the large door, and a moment latter it was opened by Mr. Sunshine, “Hey, Jessie!”

I took a deep breath, and plastered a smile on my face, “Hey.  I have a coupon for the bowling place, Lanes and Lines. Want to come and play a game or two with me?”

“Let me check,” he said, and opened up the door for me to walk in. I took careful steps inside, and quickly assessed my surroundings. There was a large glass chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a winging staircase leading up to the second floor. Everything was clean, to a point where I felt uncomfortable being in the house. It was one of those places you felt if you breathed too hard everyone would come crashing down. In this case, the large mirrors hanging on the walls seemed to be the most at risk.

“Yo! Mom!” Devin called out, “I’m going bowling with Jessie, okay?”

“That’s fine sweetie!” I heard a high pitched response from where the staircase led. I wanted to leave before I had the ‘opportunity’ to meet whatever perky, super-obnoxious creature could have produced that sound.

Devin gave me a big smile, and grabbed his coat off the nearby hook, “Let’s go!”

We climbed into his car as he showed off his new license. He had gotten it just a week ago and obviously hadn’t gotten all the satisfaction he needed out of the group of ego filled a******s he hung out with.

“Look.” He moved it back and forth with a childish grin, “It’s shiny!” I pushed on his shoulder lightly, and he pocketed the license with a mumbled ‘jealous’. I didn’t dignify his comment.

The engine was started and we began to drive down roads I had become so familiar with I could have walked their trails in my sleep. The road winded and eventually we pulled up in front of the cheap neon lights.

I stepped out, and for the first time in a long time, actually smiled.

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

yeah, i knew he would have a positive effct on her and I liked devin! he's goofy at times! ^^