On The Way Down

A narrative essay about a young girl's fears.

 

On the Way Down

                Ever since I was nine I’ve been plagued with acrophobia, a fear of heights. Before that summer I was a regular kid climbing trees, playing on swings; but not anymore. Now the thought of going higher, going further, disables me. I must wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes for safety. “Hold still,” he told me then, and regrettably I listened.

                This was the first summer that I would be away from my parents. It would only be for one week, but to a nine year old it feels like a lifetime. They were going on a romantic getaway; a second honeymoon they had told me, although I didn’t know what that meant. I had no siblings and was constantly looking for a playmate so when they went away the ideal place for me to stay was my Cousin Joey’s house. I have always loved Joey, poor naive Joey, and my aunt Margarite. The only one at that house that I didn’t like was my aunt’s new husband, John.

                John would always look at me funny, smiling and winking. He would constantly ask me to play games with him but I would always decline. Instead I would run away to escape him.

                “Sadie,” his voice beckoned one morning when my aunt had left for work, “Come and play a game with me.” I sat frozen where I was on the couch, words failed me. I dared not move, hoping he’d give up on his plan.

“Sadie, do as you’re told.” He walked into the living room, standing over me menacingly while his meaty hands gripped the arm of the sofa. My temporary immobility proved to be a useful tool. John was completely unsuspecting when I jumped up and bolted out the door. He tried to grab me but I kept on running. I ran to the big spruce tree in the backyard and climbed it as fast as I could. Each branch was solid under my frantic hands and feet as I climbed higher and further that I ever had before. I climbed past birds’ nests, past squirrels who were terrified of this stranger invading their home. I climbed so fast that my small heart was beating a drum line in my chest, drowning out most of what John was yelling. I knew what he must be saying. “Get down from there” or “It’ll only be one quick game”. I just didn’t care. I would climb to the very top of this tree and live here until my parents returned. I climbed frantically higher still and was filled with hope. Just one more branch and I’d be safe, one more step and I’d never have to worry about John again. As my foot pressed down on a weakened branch I hear it; the snap. It all happened so slowly, my feet tripping, my hands grasping out for support but only catching leaves. Then it sped up. My whole body hurled towards the ground so fast that there was no time to scream. When I hit the ground there was another kind of snap, only this time it was my ankle. I began to cry, not because of the pain but because I knew I could not run away.

My acrophobia began that fateful summer; so terrifying that I’d never climb another tree again. Elevators, escalators, swings, tall buildings; all things that would forever be ruined for me. It was never the fear of going up, only the fear of who would be waiting for me at the bottom when I would inevitably fall.

Reviews

[augustus]

What a shame you didn't take up the invitation to a 'game' Very good story.

[end of..]

haha so good

[Paul Ramnora]

Wow! You write most incredibly well. Really funny, too! Sorry, though, that you had such a 'bad' experience back when you were just a kid; which seems to have put you off heights for life; mind, you it's still possible to overcome phobia; you just have to practice working at it, very slowly one single step, at a time. I'm glad that I hopped over here to come and discover your work. Thanks very much for reading mine/and, also, for leaving review(s). ;-)

I fear spiders; one crawled into my shoe when I was very young; so, I went to the toilet to go take off my shoe; and, sure enough a BIG DADDY LONG LEGS SPIDER came crawling out. From ever since that day, whenever I go to put on my shoes, I check first that there's no spider hiding in there; by banging the shoe heel awfully hard against the ground; before my foot ever gets in there. The incident happened to me when I was say age, 8; and, now, I'm 47 going on 48...so, that makes 40 years on...and, I still worry about spiders crawling into my shoe!

The good thing about it is though; whereas before whenever I saw a spider walking in the house, I used to sweat whole buckets, and, then, do my utmost best to kill it, immediately; but, now-a-days, I've taught myself to put a glass cup over it; and, then, slide an envelope to cover the top of the glass cup; next, take the spider quite safely outside, and, release it totally unharmed. So, you see, it is possible to overcome phobias; though, it may take both plenty of time and practice.

You really got to work hard at this; instead, of having the phobia you have go control all the rest of your entire life! Practice standing on a chair/climb up a ladder/also, don't forget to go slow at your own sweet pace...all the time extending your own comfort level...until when, gradually, you find you can do more and more...; eventually, the fear will be gone; or, at least, reach a level where it's a hell of a lot more comfortable to live with. The fear of heights is a 'natural' thing; so, you really wouldn't want the fear to completely disappear, altogether; similarly, in my own case, the fear of spiders is 'natural' because some spiders are, in fact, poisionous; but, then, there are reasonable, and, also, unreasonable fears; it's the totally unreasonable fears that are right out of proportion to the actual threat that we have to face, which we really need to conquer. Sincerely, I wish you very GOOD LUCK! ;-)

[nostal]

Very descriptive and well-written.