Sleeping Beauty

A narrative essay about love.

 

Sleeping Beauty

Standing on the platform at the Pickering Train Station, the falling snow felt warm in contrast to the angry wind. I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck, burying my chin. Bitterness reached me as quickly as the train did. I began to hate this new morning routine of jealousy and envy. Why wasn’t I able to go back to my carefree ways? I picked up my briefcase and boarded the train, climbing the few short steps to where my morning group of friends would be sitting. They would be in the center of the car, seated on the lakeside, as always. And as always, he would be all over her while I looked on in bitter disappointment.

                “Morning, Addie!” Claire giggled as Daniel handed me my morning latte after slapping her knee with a rolled up newspaper. Sickening. Claire was always the one to get all the attention. Her perfect lips, her perfect breasts, her perfect legs; all catalysts for my jealousy. I dropped my briefcase to the floor and watched Daniel flirt with her. My eyes drooped and I grew more agitated with every passing giggle-filled moment. He glanced at me, with his cobalt eyes shining and my breath caught in my chest.

                “I went to the gym last night. I beat my personal record; can bench 200 pounds now.” I looked away from him, blood rushing to my ears and cheeks. He looked at me as if he knew I thought of him in this way; wanting him. But of course this news was meant for Claire; an agent to impress. Apparently 200 pounds wasn’t enough for Miss Perfect, she couldn’t even manage to look away from the guy sitting across the aisle.

                “Very...impressive,” I managed to choke out dryly, sounding more bitchy than interested.

                “Sure is,” Claire said flirtatiously while gazing at the new guy who had caught her attention. “I’m going to the washroom.” She said too loudly as she uncrossed her legs seductively, looking not to Daniel, but to the hunky young guy. He got up and followed her in no time.

                That girl could have any man she wanted with a single wave of her finger. I resented her. Daniel seemed to want her, but I guess she only goes for the men who aren’t so obvious. Daniel used to flirt with me like that, before Claire came along. She saw me, imperfect and insecure, finally feeling happy for the first time and she just had to steal him away. She lured him away with her feminine charms, only to tease and torment him by not going further than an unspoken promise. How could a Plain-Jane like me compete with such an exotic woman?  Tears of anger welt up in my eyes and I wouldn’t dare to look at Daniel now.

                “Addie,” Daniel moved to the seat beside me and grabbed my face, “What’s wrong?”

                I looked at him, feeling angry and embarrassed. “Are you really so stupid that you don’t know?” I closed my eyes and the tears flowed forwards. Warm lips covered mine in a sweet, reassuring kiss.  When we broke apart I looked at him questioningly.

                He caressed my cheek, “I was only trying to get your attention...with Claire. “ Hope filled my entire being and I hugged him tight, kissing him again. Claire may be beautiful and seductive, but she couldn’t have my heart; that part of me that I had forgotten, awakened by the kiss of my Prince.

Reviews

[Samantha Guerin]

When I wrote the peice it was given a limit on words, as it is as I stated an essay. Besides, why does any woman like a strong man? The point in the vague discription of him is that so the reader can imagine their "Prince."

[Inkjinx]

Aww, the ending is really cute.

There's a lot of emotion in this piece, just as Kat had said. It was well written. I'm not entirely sure why Addie was after Daniel, though. Maybe you could tell a bit more about him? Then again, this is a shorter piece, and it was well done for its size, in my opinion. I'm not really sure what to criticize here to help you improve, other than you're doing a great job. Maybe try expanding next time and make a slightly longer piece? Good luck and keep up the writing.
:)

Edit: I found a small error in here. Nitpicks, though, y'know? "Appearrantly 200 pounds wasn�t enough"
Should have been *apparently. Maybe use spell checker next time?

[deeps]

Such emotional story here,
Sometimes we give our all to one
to have it broke in two.
Very well expressed, Nnicely detailed.
Very well written.