Chapter 3

 

Chapter 3

“Abby! What has happened to you?” Emily shrieked at me as she saw Alex and me walking up the path to our school, obviously noticing my damp hair, wrinkled clothes, and lack of makeup.

“Emily, honestly, I used to think you could spot style infractions from a mile away…and now I know that you can. But really, I don’t look that bad, do I? I’m showered at least.” After all, who really cares if your clothes are a little frumpy?

“Abigail Lawrence. It is your duty, as my friend, to accompany me to the ladies room. Immediately. Alex, we’ll see you at lunch.” Emily grabbed me by my arm and dragged me along behind her, leading me to the nearest girl’s room.

“Oh Em, don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little bit?”

“Abby, listen to me, you’re weird enough as it is around here. You just missed a month of school, and there are tons of rumours.” Oh great, just my luck, suddenly I was the weird girl. Emily broke me from my thoughts as she continued, “You can’t just come back to school looking like you just pulled yourself out of bed. Let me help fix this.”

I knew Emily wouldn’t give up until I agreed, and I hated to admit it, but she was right. I did look kind of messy. As soon as I said “yes” Emily opened her purse and began doing my makeup. She put a light pink shadow on my eye lids, and smudged on some black eyeliner. She coated my lashes with mascara, something I almost never do for myself, before putting a gloss on my lips. When she had appraised my face, admiring her handy work, she stuck my head under one of the hair dryers and let it blow dry my hair. She rubbed her fingers in my roots as well, claiming that my hair would have extra body. When she was finished, I stood up and walked over to the mirror.

“Wow, Emily, I have to hand it to you, I look pretty good.” I ran my fingers through my hair, soft and manageable. It was, for the first time in my life, voluminous. There were big, soft waves thanks to the spray and round brush that Emily used on my hair. I made a mental note to pick one of those up on my way home from school.

“There’s still the not-so-small matter of your clothing.” Emily said pointedly.

I glanced down at my wrinkled t-shirt and ruffled jeans. “Emily, I think its fine. This is just school.”

“My point exactly! Come on Abby, take off that t-shirt.”

“What?” What was she thinking? What else could I wear? I’d certainly never walk around in my sports bra.

“Abby, here.” Emily started to take off her fitted t-s**t. “Wait a second, just turn around, okay?”

“Okay…What are you doing?” I asked quizzically as I saw her start to take her tank top off before I turned completely around.

“You’re going to wear my tank top. It’s fitted and cute enough that it’ll balance out those hideous jeans, might even look good.”

I felt the tank top fling onto my shoulder so I took off my t-shirt and put the navy blue tank top on in its place. “Thanks Emily.” I went to look in the mirror again, and again the results surprised me. I looked much different than I was used to looking. Normally I went for the natural root, but I did have to admit that I liked the way this combination worked. “You truly work wonders my friend.”

“Oh I know. I’ll just need that tank top back when you’re done. And please don’t wash it in the machine; you’ll ruin the lace around the bust and waist. Just wash it by hand and hang it to try.” Again, she stepped back and looked me over. “I should do this for a living.”

We both laughed and I stuffed my wrinkled t-shirt into my bag before we both headed out. I followed Emily out the door and bumped into Logan, who was heading in the other direction. I jolted back a little bit from his sheer size and the force of the bump. I looked up into his eyes and they seared into mine.

“You look beautiful.” His words were like smoke, thick and lingering.

“Um…” I was at a loss for wards, tongue-tied. How on earth was he doing this to me? I was perfectly happy being with Alex, so why did Logan’s mere words give me butterflies?

“Um, Abby? Are you okay?” It was Emily; I recognized her voice even though I didn’t break away from Logan’s stare.

It was when Logan abruptly continued walking that the trance I was in was broken. “Yes, I’m okay. That was weird, don’t you think?”

“Most definitely. Abby, are you sure that you’re okay?” Emily looked at me, squinting at my eyes, as if she thought I was not understanding, over enunciating every word.

“Yes I am sure, thank you. Let’s just get to class then, sound good?” I didn’t give her time to answer as I walked quickly up the hallway. Emily caught up in a second and we both walked wordlessly to English class. All the while I was aware of a dull thudding noise that I soon realized were my feet, hitting the floor in surprisingly hard pulses. It was moments like these that got me frustrated with myself. What was my problem? So Logan stared at me, big deal. I shouldn’t have to remind myself that I’m in love with my boyfriend all because of some hunky guy’s stare. Though it was senseless, there was just some inexplicable pull towards Logan. Why do human beings have to be so subject to emotions and hormones? It makes us think and do crazy things which we normally would not do had we not been subjected to the harsh realities that we all must face daily. My mind became jumbled up, thinking about all the reasons why I shouldn’t feel a thing for Logan, but then the headache started up again.

“Abby…” Apparently Emily had noticed me clutching my head.

Her voice didn’t sound right, it was too thin. Suddenly I realized that the room was spinning round and round and all I could hear were murmuring sounds all around me. As soon as my eyes began to clock out the room, I became scarred. All I saw was a pale blue light, hazing over my eyes. My head burned in a sharp, numbing pain that made me cry out for help. My body began to lose control and I could feel my legs tremble and give out. There was a soft voice in my ear, a quiet whisper.

“Abigail, darling, don’t worry. Close your eyes and will it away. You don’t have to feel the pain, control it.” The voice urged on, but this made no sense to me. How could I control this? It continued, “You must learn to control it or it will swallow you up. Abigail, trust me.” The voice was so soft and gave to me a feeling of warmth that made me forget about the coldness of the floor below me. “In this world that is always turning, I will hold you still.”

I squeezed my eyes tight and decided to listen to the mysterious voice that was coaching me on. I began to imagine pushing the pain, a heavy load, back down. At first it didn’t work, and I felt stupid for trying. But the voice kept whispering for me to continue, so I did. I pushed it back as hard as I could, and found that my head actually began to clear, the ice was melting. I kept it up for a little while longer until I could open my eyes and see. The view I had was obscured, but at least now I could make out colours and shapes. I felt a hand, gripping on to mine, squeezing a little too tight. My mouth made a sound of annoyed pain that I hadn’t recognized as mine until the person the hand belong to spoke.

“Oh, she’s awake!” The voice called out, much too loudly to have been intended for me. Then it whispered, “Abby, sweetheart, Mommy’s here.”

My mother was with me, holding my hand. But where were we? I tried to sit up in what I recognized as a bed, and brought my hand which had tubes sticking out of it to rub at my eyes. “Abby,” my mother said sternly, “don’t overwhelm yourself. Lay down, honey.” I ignored her and began rubbing my eyes harder. I could make out a pale white curtain that hung at both sides of my bed. There was a wall in the distance at the bottom of the bed. The pale white colour of the wall, the sterile smell and the sound of beeping machinery told me that I was in a hospital. What really happened to me? I hoped with all of my being that not too many students saw what could only be described as my “episode”. I shuddered at the thought. I turned my gaze to my mother, sitting beside the hospital bed in a steel-framed chair, and then down to my body; covered in the standard hospital gown. I must have been out of it for quite a while if the nurses had time to change my clothes and hook me up to so many machines.

“Mom, what’s wrong with me?”

“Abby, Emily said you had a headache and were screaming in pain. One of your teachers heard the screams and came out to find you collapsing in the middle of the hall. The school called an ambulance to take you here, and then they called me. I’ve been so worried, baby. I came straight here from work.”

“Mom, its okay, I feel fine right now, just a little tired. When can I come home?” I’d been in the hospital before, definitely not an experience I wanted to relive anytime soon.

“I’m not sure. I keep asking the doctors if you’re okay, what the problem is, but they avoid answering. They’ve already drawn blood and are doing tests right now. The machines that you’re hooked up to are monitoring your heart rate. When I came in it looked pretty erratic but it seems to have settled down now. I’m sorry to tell you this Abby, but I’ve signed the papers to have the hospital give you another cat scan. I know how much you don’t like them, honey, but we need to find the source of this problem.”

 It startled me that what started out as mild headaches developed into blackouts and episodes. What startled me the most in that moment, however, was my mothers hand, closing over mine. I looked down at her thumb which was gently stroking the back of my hand, just beside the needle. In this moment I felt closer to my mom than I had in years, she was the best mother she could be in that simple gesture, and it did comfort me. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, to take in all the information about what had just happened. I knew I’d be exhausted later, but for right now I was wide awake. How did this happen so suddenly? More importantly, was there really someone coaching me, or did I slip into a hallucination? The doctors will be asking me questions about what happened and what I experienced when they deem that I am functioning at a normal rate. That should give me enough time to sort out my story. If I tell them that I had a hallucination, they’ll only send me for more tests. But the voice seemed too close to be a hallucination; I could just barely feel its breath on my ear. 

“Honey,” my mom’s voice broke my concentration, “I’m just going to go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Would you like me to get the nurses for you? Maybe they could bring you something.”

“No thanks, Mom, I’d really just like to be left alone for awhile if that’s ok.”

“Sure thing, honey. I’ll be back in a while; give you some time to just settle in. Get the nurses to page me if you need me sooner.”

“Thanks for being here, Mom, I know how busy you are. I just want you to know that it means a lot to me, but right now I think I’m just going to sleep.”

After kissing my cheek my mom left the room and I could hear the click-clacking sound of her stilettos on the cool tile surface of the hallway as she walked further and further away. Finally, just me and the beeping machines that were keeping me hydrated. I stole a quick glance at my arm and saw the red ring around the tip of the needle that was being held in place by a piece of tape. The sight of it made my stomach toss and for one blissful moment I couldn’t feel the pain in my head. I decided to close my eyes and let my other senses take over. I started with the nose. On the first deep breath in through my nostrils the smell of my sterile surroundings was piercing. Determined to not give up I took in another breath and was surprised to smell apple sauce. Normally I wouldn’t have been able to pick up on such a muted scent, but maybe the sterile smell of the hospital room amplified the sweetness of the apples. The smell of it made my mouth water. Before giving my stomach another chance to ache, I began breathing through my mouth, deciding to focus on another sense: my hearing. Eyes still closed, I tried to focus on the sound of something other than the machinery all around me. I could hear the bustling nurses in the hallway, and the sound of wheels which I assumed were trolleys full of food for the other patients because the air now tasted of chicken. No matter what I tried to distract myself with I could not get my mind off food. Giving it one more try I squeezed my eyes tight and focused on the rise and fall of my breath. The resulting sound I heard was came to me as too ragged, too forced. The breathing I heard came from exertion, and I had been lying in a bed all day. Questioning what my ears were picking up on, I opened my eyes and glanced down at my chest which was just barely rising and falling with my shallow breath. Realizing that the breathing I was hearing was not coming from me; I turned my head to the chair which was positioned next to the bed, thinking that perhaps my mother had returned while I had my eyes closed.

I let out a gasp and my machinery starting screaming in beeps. “Wow, Abbey, relax. It’s just me; I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Processing that Logan was sitting next to me in the hospital room took just a second too long. “Logan…what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to visit you, what else?” He said as if it were the most natural thing in the world; as if we had been long time friends.

“I just didn’t expect any visitors is all. I’m not exactly dressed for company.” I glanced down at my hospital gown and became embarrassed by the sheer fabric. I pulled the blanket up over my chest in what I hoped did not look premeditated.

“Don’t be so self-conscious, you always look lovely.” Trying to hide my blush I took my eyes off of Logan and pretended to smooth out a wrinkle on the blanket. “Abbey, I just came to make sure that you were okay. I wanted to let you know that if you heard anyone instructing you back at school, it was me. So don’t tell the doctors that you’re also having hallucinations, otherwise they’ll only give you more pointless tests that will find nothing.”

This caught my attention and my neck snapped up to stare into his assuring gaze. “You were the one telling me how to deal with my pain? But how did you know what was happening? How could you have known that what you were telling me would help?”

“My brother used to have a condition similar to yours. He would get terrible headaches and even blacked out from time to time. I got used to coaching him on, knowing he could hear me, and he told me that it made him feel better. So I thought it might have been helpful to you.” The way his eyes bore into mine distracted me for a moment before I bombarded him with more questions.

“I didn’t know you had a brother. How old is he? What condition does he have?” I hoped that Logan would have an answer for the type of condition his brother suffered from, maybe something that could help the doctors figure out mine.

“Actually it was something very rare. He passed away a few years back. Doctors could never find a category that his illness fell under. Just like you, very unique, refreshingly original.” He brushed his hand over mine and the beeping on my monitors quickened just enough to be noticeable. He laughed quietly under his breath and my face reddened yet again.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Logan.” It was the only thing I knew to say.

“Thank you, but I still see him quite often.” This caught me off guard. I didn’t know what to say. Logan sounded like he belonged in the psyche ward. Or then again maybe he just meant that he saw his brother in his dreams or in memories. I hoped that it was the latter. In the midst of my confusion Logan had stood up and towered over me, his dark figure dousing me with shade from the harsh light above him. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of fear mixed with excitement at the sight of his broad shoulders stretched before me. My heart raced as he leaned towards me, with his hands planted on either side of my face. Half stunned; I could not move, wondering if I should call for help or just hold still. In what seemed like the longest moment of my life Logan’s head came down towards me and his soft lips brushed lightly against mine. It was as if in the following moments I had no control over my body; no control over the hands that reached up to pull Logan’s mouth down harder over mine. His kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced, warm and soothing on contact, but it spread a white hot fire through the rest of my body.

When we pulled apart my eyes were still closed, lips parted and gasping for air. The slightest tingle still erupting in my toes.

            “Abby!” Startled into opening my eyes I turned to see Alex walking in the door. A rush of guilt flooded my system as I registered the bundle of Get Well Soon balloons and the saddened expression on Alex’s face.

            “Alex…I can explain everything.” Slightly panicked I turned towards Logan for support, an excuse, maybe even to take the blame; after all, he was the one who kissed me. Though, I had to admit to myself, I did nothing to stop it from continuing.

            “Honey, just relax. You don’t have to explain anything to me, you’re sick right now. That’s all.” While he was speaking Logan walked out of the room, winking to me as he left. The nerve of him. Alex took Logan’s place next to my bed and began stroking my hair. “When you feel better you can explain to me what happened.”

            As his soft finger tips brushed the hair out of my eyes I began to feel the deep drudge of regret creeping up through my chest. While taking a few deep breaths to try to get my lungs, which felt like lead, to begin working once more I marveled at the sincerity of Alex’s tone. He didn’t sound angry with me at all, which made me feel even worse about kissing Logan. Not only had I kissed Logan, but I had enjoyed it as well, made it last for longer than it should have. In the first instant that Logan’s lips touched mine I knew I should have kept my lips closed, pulled away. I should have stopped it dead in its tracks; but I didn’t. Alex had never been anything but wonderful to me and now I had betrayed and hurt him in the worst way possible. What I couldn’t wrap my mind around was the way Alex was treating me. It seemed to be as if he was ignoring the fact that he saw the kiss at all.

Reviews

[Sean M. Addams]

a very creative piece liked the storyline in this alot... overall i thought you did an amazing job on this... nice work!!!

[CassieLynne]

very descriptive and entertaining...keeps my attention for sure! please continue writinggggggggg

[deeps]

I felt like I have already read this once.
It is well written and enjoyable to read.
LIke this alot. Very descriptive write
Enjoyable read.