Heartbeats

This is an essay I had to write for English... the topic was anything we wanted to write about.

Heartbeats. The tiny, frail pulsing of her heart echoed within the hollow sanctuary of her mother’s womb. She almost couldn’t help but smile at the vibrations of her mother’s soprano voice as it penetrated the placenta. This world of sweet blackness felt warm and comforting to her fragile emotions. Danger could never pierce this sanctum of impenetrable darkness, and as long as she could reside in this world of eternal peace, she would dream… and dream she did. Iridescent images too complex for her developing brain to understand came to her in her state of sleep. She admired the sound of her parent’s voice and dreamt of them often. Their harmonious voices created a feeling of balance inside of her when they spoke to her. In the middle of her moment of daydream and wonder, she felt an unusual shift in her surroundings. Her little heart began to pick up its pace when she felt her mother’s weight fall to her backside. Something troubled her small mind, for she could not fathom the life-changing experience at hand. The usually slow and heavy thudding of her mother’s heart had rapidly jumped to a furious pounding and the sounds of gushing air assailing into and falling back from her lungs began to spiral out of control. Different and unfamiliar sounds made their invasion into the protection of her placenta, and she could not help but feel alarmed. This world she had begun to know and adore now frightened her and she so desperately wanted to go back to never knowing this feeling that so egotistically claimed the title “apprehension”. Her fragile frame began to shake in horror as the muscles of her mother’s abdomen began to contract and release around her. She felt herself moving downward involuntarily through her mother’s pelvis. She felt the placenta break. Her small bubble of sanctuary destroyed before her own ocean blue eyes. In a matter of minutes, she felt the air change from a warm and comfortable to an alien, cold feeling. Losing herself to her abhorrence, she let out a fierce cry. She became wrapped up in something soft and clean and her heart began to slow. At that time, she heard the sweet sound of her mother’s voice, and she knew she had been placed into her mother’s arms because she could smell her innocence. Again, she felt happy, safe. It had been a miracle… the miracle of birth.

Author's Note

Keep in mind that when I write stories, I tend to write and think differently than most fifteen-year-olds, lol... so tell me what you think!

Reviews

[GunMetal]

Absolutely loved this. Your perspective is incredible. The turmoil of being born is a topic I seldom see, and you did an incredible job of personifying it. I think you could have ended it at "It had been a miracle." because leaving out "the miracle of birth" part would let to rest of the story speak for itself, which it does so well already. There's really no need to include it, but having it there doesn't hurt it either. Amazing work.

[Amanda Naomi]

its very sweet. i like thinking about the baby's perspective, i think it is something lost on adults what the children go through, but i feel you have portrayed it wonderfully!!