Hollowed Out

I hope you choke on your pride as you swallow it

I hope you lose your way as you try to follow it

You never understood me

You never knew what I could be

Always waiting by the door when I left

Always hoping your promises were kept

But inside I knew

Inside I knew it was you

 

Every step you take is a mile closer to Hell

Every word you say is about how you fell

Behind the looking glass

Behind the lies as they pass

In all of my nightmares were you

Staring at me, saying, “I love you, too.”

But inside I knew

Inside I knew it wasn’t true

 

Hopeless and desperate you search again

Only to find the shattered remains of you

Lonely you crawl away from all of them

Lifeless you gasp for a breath of the truth

Only to regain the broken equals again

Weeping, you look back on your youth

Everything I ever gave up to you back then

Drives you farther away from being absolute

 

Owls stand by and watch you cower

Upper feelings have left your power

Taking your last life within the hour

Author's Note

Honest opinions, please... :)

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

Such a sad story about an unreturned love. I'm sorry you had to go through this pain. Keep writing.

[State of Grace]

Awesome poem! I like the message and could really feel your emotions in this. Great job!

[.]

really enjoyed this..the ending was clever - like the hidden message and it flowed nicely..first stanza two lines..were my favourite..

[OT]

nice!! a strong and powerful write - attitude in here too and an acrostic to end it? brilliant!! very well constructed - sharp images - I liked!

[D S Rollins]

Wow! The tone is so serious, but I love the rhyme scheme and the word usage. Amazing.

[Sweets]

This is so great!
and the rhymes were amazing :)
It's so hard to write a poem with rhymes, you added a beautiful rhythm to this poem!
This is absolutely wonderful!
100/100
+ added to my favorites :)
Great work!

[Dreamer<3]

I think it's really cool how the last lines spell out Hollowed Out. Also, I think this would make a good song. Really good! :D

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

I love this. It's dark and twisted. This is one of my new favorites. Amazing write.