Chapter 2: "Solitude... you're my only companion."

    The tick of the clock in Mrs. Simmons’s class seemed to keep everybody calm for the time being.  Anything could happen and set us all off into a mad state again, but we found ways to keep ourselves controlled.  Emily Jacobs, who sat right beside me in her class, threw a note upon my desk. It read, “Hey, what happened to Marley?  I heard something happened to her… and I also heard you were there when it happened!   What happened?  What did you do to her?”

I could taste the vicious note in the few sentences as though they had been written in acid.  She was obviously taking the coincidence of us both being there at the same time as a good chance to point a finger at me, for which I had no part in the incident whatsoever.  I glanced back up to see if Mrs. Simmons was still giving her lecture on Hamlet.  Since her back was turned to Emily and I, I began to scribble my words onto the note angrily.  “I never even touched her!  I can’t believe that you would think I did!  I was talking to someone else leaving the science building when I heard her scream.  But I don’t see the use of explaining because you and many others can’t seem to find the truth in me!”

I passed the note back to her carefully, hoping that Mrs. Simmons wouldn’t turn around and catch us in the middle of our act.  But if she did, she would snatch up the note and read it to the class, so there was nothing to worry about since nothing bad was written in this note.  Her expression held the face of astonishment as she read the sentences I had seized back at her.  Then I watched as she began to write once more.  “Exactly whom were you talking to?”  The note continued on in a curious tongue.

I pressed my pencil so hard to the paper I thought any second that it was going to melt in my hand.  As soon as I released my death grip on the pencil, I wrote, “Why does it matter of whom I was talking to?  They’re not important anyway!”  I felt like exploding the words to her right in the middle of class, but then restrained myself as I half-heartedly tossed her the note.

She read the note in what seemed a half-second, and began to jot down her words that she obviously thought had to be spoken.  “Because, and now, I don’t have to be told who you were talking to, because I already know.  You were talking to Dylan, duh!  And don’t deny it, it’s too obvious to be ignored.  No one in this school could matter less to you than Dylan Brimes.”  The note’s words seemed to leave cuts and scrapes in my mind as my brain processed every word like they were super-spicy Habenero peppers.  I felt like reaching over and ripping those pretty blond braids out of her head for accusing me of such foolery!  Even though it was true, it had already become obvious that all the attention of Dylan had left everybody else in the school that thought it only belonged to them.  I didn’t want any part of Dylan, and I didn’t know why he had come onto me so quickly, if that’s what they were calling it now.  All it was was a simple car ride home, but no, someone had to carry it somewhere else and make the story juicy enough for someone to actually care about.  So now, I was the girl who just can’t get enough of Dylan and just had to ride home with him.  It made me feel like throwing up.  He was not and never will be my type whatsoever, I vowed to myself silently.  The bell rang to except students from their sixth period class, and I was trying to avoid the full force of new attention from everyone that even cared.

In the crowd, I did feel the difference between everyone else and I.  All the girls had perfect hair that flowed down to their shoulders, flat abs, and perfect curves in the front and back �" basically any boys dream �" more like Playboy models.  And all of the boys had hardcore ripped bodies from being football all-stars �" or so they thought they were -.  Everyone was a ‘good kid’.  No one ever got in trouble for any reason.  No one ever cheated on someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend.  No one was making below a B in school.  Or, of course, that’s what probably most of them were thinking. I was certainly a ‘good kid’, but not in their way.  I was my own kind of good, and I didn’t care what anyone had to say about me. 

Plus, I did look different.  Straight, waist-long hair that I dyed black because I detested my blonde hair hung from my head.  I obtained a normal figure with a little more curve, but I wasn’t at all fat, just simply healthy at 125 lbs.  Black eyeliner and mascara always accompanied my radiant green eyes along with three colors of eye shadow to bring my eyes to life.  My clothes I had always found “freakin’ awesome!” but many other’s found it disturbing and freaky.  Today, I was wearing lime-green skinny jeans with a black Avenged Sevenfold shirt, and neon purple knee-high converse.  My hair was pulled back into an angel crown and a black dog collar with silver spikes was around my neck.  I had my left eyebrow pierced with a spiked piercing, and my wrists were covered with gloves with the fingers cut out of them, my fingernails were painted black, and a moon ring wrapped itself around my middle finger.

Some called me Goth, others called me Emo, but most of the school defined me as a witch who practiced black magic and worshiped Satan.  Though that was not at all the case, I was just… different.  Everyone in this school wore black seldom, and listened to Country music, or Gospel.  I listened to rock music ranging from something as light as Green Day to something as freaky as Dying Fetus and everything in between.

I had no friends for these stupid reasons, but I was not going to try to change whom I was, just for one year.  They could tolerate me another semester and a half.  I smiled darkly at the thought.  Then as if to ruin my day again, the memory of what happened to Marley today, and the event that happened before it, crawled back up my spine in what felt like cold, spiny fingers.  A bee had stung Marley, and of course, Dylan had to run to the rescue.  Feeling as though that was the chance to escape, I took off running to my fifth period.

Reviews

[R.S. Wilder]

Again, nice flow to the story. Be mindful though to your descriptions - compared to Chapter One, this was a bit more - to the point, almost forced. Other than that, I'm looking forward to reading more.

[James Watts]

I agree with both of the reviewers below, although there are any real major issues. Just a little fleshing will help and quick edit. But wait until the book is finished. Just make notes in a separate document on what you want to correct or omit when you come back to it. Other than that, not bad.

[Miss Coral]

While you add a certain mystery to some things, I think that your writing would benefit if you learned how to add in description more subtly. Rather than "telling", try to "show.

Otherwise, interesting story. :)

[Albatross]

Interesting, I'd love to see where this story is going:) It's hard, moving to a new place. You wrote your character's emotions so well, I could read through her experience and empathize with her.. Her wanted to go unnoticed, yet at the same time struggling with her emotions for the friggin hottest guy on campus.

All I have to say in terms of advice is to focus on your sentence construction. There were many instances in your story where your sentences broke off, or simply did not make sense. Also, check your grammar... Other than that, the storyline flows well, it was interesting and thought provoking, and I enjoyed it:) Keep up the good work!