Oceans of Blood ~

Will my blood ever run dark enough for you?

And as I drown in myself, the sacrifice wasn't worth it

Even though I tell myself you care, you never do

Was it just in my mind to believe everything you said?

Just another step closer, I dare myself, to the end

 

Can't except the fact that you're not loved

So you set out to kill all that's left of me

You watch me suffer alone in my rivers of blood

But even if I drown alone tonight, my hate will live on

To haunt the very being of your souless core

 

Nothing left of you, even your reflection turns away

And just when I'm ready to fly away, you snap my wings in two

Left broken and worthless on the cold ground anyway

Not strong enough to let myself die for any ounce of you

But still I lay, on the frozen earth with no will to surrender

 

Surprised to see me gather the shattered pieces of me back up?

And as I stumble back to my feet, standing in my ocean of blood

Broken, but not lifeless, I offer you not a drink from forgiveness's cup

And as my blood still poors from my empty soul forevermore

You soon find yourself drowning in my crimson loathing with no way out

 

Oh, how so often you told me I have no more chances

My oceans of blood begin to swallow you whole

And look who's running out of air to whisper for forgiveness

Will my blood ever run dark enough for you?

Well, I guess now that your gone, I'll never have to bleed again.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this for my demonic grandmother. I can never do anything right or worthy in her eyes. Everything is a game of cat and mouse with her. Anything that makes me happy is used as an instrument of torture against me. This piece is very deep and very authentic. It's raw and powerful. It's not meant for anyone with a soft heart to read. But one day, I hope to suffocate her with my suffering, so I shall "never have to bleed again".

Reviews

[Mitch]

I really feel the emotion in this one. I can't help but get a mental picture as I read of a cut and scarred person in the middle of their own blood, but they refuse to give up against the assault. Push past the pain and embracing the rage you push through against your enemy. Very strong.

[~Angelic~]

Power in words and that is exactly what this poems shows. Very well written, and I definitely can relate to it.

[E.V. Black]

Power has many forms, and this is one of them. This is something I can very strongly relate to. I've run into several people in my life who have never thought I was good enough for them. Simply enough, I do not attempt to change myself to their liking. So, I ignore what they think and find people who love me for my entirety. I do understand how you feel, and I love this piece for its raw power.
My favorite lines:

"Can't except the fact that you're not loved
So you set out to kill all that's left of me"

Briefly, I wonder what your grandmother has gone through to become so bitter and so perfectionist. Still, it doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't have to change for her. I am glad that you have decided not to change just because she thinks you should. Power to you!

[Peaceworker22]

Wow, this is filled with malice. I understand how you feel, I had that kind of situation before in my life. But now that I've moved away from her and don't really talk with her much, I've been told she misses me and the talks we used to have. But she is family, so I can't help but love her. After all, she, my aunt, and my mother practically raised me for a good part of my life. I just wish I didn't have to walk on eggshells when I am around her, it just ruins everything. She isn't horrible, but she can be... oversensitive at times. But at least she's happy to see me when I do come to visit. The truth I just now realized is that she is lonely, and because of her age and Diabetes, she's in a lot of pain. I think I will visit her sometime soon. : ( She must be in agony lately. Heck with it, I don't care if I have to help out on the farm, I want to now. Just to make what could very well be her last years of her life happier when she is this miserable would be the greatest thank you I could ever give her. And even though she may have hurt me in the past, I'm willing to look past that because I love and pity her.

[Lost in Wonderland]

Very dark and very raw like you said. The pain you have felt is beautifully displayed in this Poem. Very well done! God bless

[:DI laugh too much:D]

This was so morbid and expressive. You describe such deep and dark feelings so well.

A really powerful poem, awesome job!

[Extant]

I can see all of your anger wanting to rip off the page. I thought it was interesting that as you go through the poem the pools of blood become bigger; first a puddle that surrounds you, then rivers, and finally an ocean.

"Nothing left of you, even your reflection turns away,"
To me that's basically saying that this person (your grandmother) has lost her physical form and her soul, because a reflection cannot exist without a soul (like vampires). Overall, the third stanza was my favourite, I'm a sucker for anything involving broken things, especially wings.

"Surprised to see me gather the shattered pieces of me back up?"
"You soon find yourself drowning in my crimson loathing with no way out",

These lines are a bit awkwad, I think you're missing a comma in the second one.

[Color of the Iris]

Also, where it says "Nothing left of you, even your reflection turns away," it means not even her reflection wants her, accepts her, because she doesn't truly accept herself. She's in denial of who she truly is.

[Rose of Gondor]

It's so powerful and deep and so dark. The fact that it's written for someone makes this poem so much powerful. This shouldn't have been rated M. T works just as well. :D It feels like people are jabbing at you always, each and everyday, trying to draw blood. But when their wish is fulfilled, and the blood comes pouring out, they're the ones drowned with it. This is a great poem that I can relate to. Thank you, for asking me to read!

[Color of the Iris]

No problem! I'm glad you liked it! :)

[Rose of Gondor]

:D

[Rhea752]

holy s**t!!! it's scary this is actually written for someone. this is so hateful and emotional and powerful. i love this poem because i can relate. when peoples standards are to high to reach... ya that reminds me of someone :P great poem i really actually enjoyed. thank you for asking me to read it!! :D i absolutely loved this!!!

[Color of the Iris]

Lol, thank you very much! :D

[Rhea752]

thank you for my review too :)

[Harley (arbiter)]

Yes powerful indeed. A good read and I can relate to having a person who, whatever you do, it still isn't good enough for them. I like the poem. Great job