It Passes

 Rushes like a stream of cool, fluidic water

Condensation through the glass fogs the sight

Shot out like a panic, straight to the lungs

Snatch a breath too late; it’s floating; gone

Rising toward the sun, forgotten in the waves

The dread settles over the gray creation

Established in its solid persistence

Stiff-necked obstacle never changing

While systems trudge through the ooze

Accumulating under creature comforts

Slicing pulp and printed digits

Changing hand over hand

Blinding; holding tongues; fueling lives

Makes excuses; alibis; assurances

Light it up; spray it down, the ink spreads on

Wander through the vacancy; pushing swings

Back and forth, get lost in reminiscence

Check the creeping hands, steady rising

Catch a breath before it leaves

Smoke lifts the sea; salt stings the slash

Time wounds all Heals.

 

 

Reviews

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Interesting thoughts that you have penned in this one..Keep the creative pen flowing..Sunflower

[Dionysus Cain]

That was real good , I must say. I liked it from the start to the end. The ending made it though. Good ink!

[Christopher.Holmberg]

heels and yes amazing write i love it.

[Stephen Churchill]

thought it sounded familiar. more of a harrison guy, myself. great stuff, though.

[Lindsay]

the last line is a quote from John Lennon.

[Stephen Churchill]

love the last line in this piece. very cool.

[Colin Stewart]

we are LOOKING FOR BOLD DARING PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO LIGHT UP OUR MARQUEE AT: thepoeticminds.com (poetry,literature and dreams) and it is obvious that words delight in your company!

[Bella-Marie]

Wow... this poem was like lots of little poems chopped up and then put back together for one big masterpiece. Very well written, that jigsaw puzzle fits together (so the structure is excellent) and, of course, it was the perfect balance of straight-fowardness and elusive writing (I hope that made sense), so I could be included without having to read the poem aloud. Well done.

[Allmax]

At first this poem started out happy and full of hope and then with little warning it turns into a slap in the face reality check that brings you back into focuse...Great ability in helping the reader share your emotional genius...

[Markymark]

Likewise minded after reading Emily's review. Many writers leave it to the imagination to "figure out" the theme or thread in a convoluted series of phrases, whereas you have given it away. This is something different in the cafe. Most stuff is just so darned abstract, I get lost. I don't know how to review what I cannot grasp, so I skip over it. I like the word play on the last line. Thanks for the RR.

Mark