Today, I Had to Destroy You

Today, I had to destroy you;

Today, I ripped you to shreds.

Piece by piece, line by line, my penciled confession cascaded from fingertips and onto the floor

like dirty water from a mop bucket.

 

You just aren’t good for me. 

 

And I need to confess:                 (Say it!)

I have known this from the start.

 

Well, that isn’t entirely true.

 

In the beginning, I really liked you, and I still do          (Write it.)  But,

in the beginning, I thought you were stronger, and someday you will be. But,

in the beginning, I thought you were different: more, more... I don’t know, just someone else and I thought that all this would work out

perfectly. You and me. This relationship.

 

 

 

But in the beginning, God defined and created relationship perfectly,

and you and I seem to be messing with these intentions even more, it seems, than did that first taste of sin--that taste, first sweet then sour then bitter then downright tasteless. 

 

And I’m tired of settling for a tasteless life.

And I’m tired of settling for you.

I’m tired of waiting for you to wake up.

And I am tired of waiting for you to be a man I am tired of waiting I am tired.

And I can't even begin to describe what is going on in my soul! And so

I have had to destroy you.

I have had to tear you to pieces and pray that God would grant me the ease and peace of a lust-less heart and a joyful spirit.

 

And as much as this hurts me to let you go, you have hurt me more--

 

 

(Be honest, for once.)

 

 

as much as this hurts me to let you go, you have hurt me more but

not as much as I have hurt myself by holding on to you for this long.