Painful truth behind a beautiful smile.

I've been through a lot of pain,
And I've been through a lot of hell.
I've had a lot of ups and downs,
So I hope it all turns out swell.

Real people are hard to find now a days,
For society has messed us up.
I hold my head up strong and high,
And sip from my optimistic cup.

But despite my happy and smiling face,
There are pains you will never see.
I'm afraid to open up my heart,
To anyone but me.

I've been let down more times then I can count,
And I know it's all a part of life.

Unfortunately though; when I turn my back,
I'm painfully stabbed with a knife.

I put on a front as a strong-willed woman,
But secretly I'm dying inside.
I keep it all bottled up in me,
In fear of losing my pride.

And there's thing's I want to say to you,
But I get so scared I choke.
I can't help myself from wondering,
The truth behind your “joke.”

I know not everyone's perfect,
Although most of us wish we could be.
I struggle with it day over night,
Me and my insecurity.

I'm too this; And I'm too that,
These words running through my mind.
She said this; He said that,
Now my confidence is impossible to find.

I once stared at this exact same person,
Pleased with what I saw.
Harsh words and rumours have changed me.
Now I notice every flaw.

Although I have a rough time,
There's still important people to me.
I've had one friend whose helped me through all,
And thank god for my family.

They may not know my pain or sorrow,
But they know i have something to hide.
Patiently waiting;Their here for me,
And act as my needed guide.

Author's Note

I've never been all that good at writing; but I love it with a passion.
Please let me know what I've done good on and what I need to improve please and thank-you.

Reviews

[TBPopper]

I think you have a good idea. I don't think you've done anything wrong, per se, but as I read, I sort of felt like some of the rhymes were 'easy'. That is, they seemed like really obvious rhymes. There's nothing wrong with that, really, it just sort of made me feel like I was reading something from my teen years.

I did, however, really like the line 'and sip from my optimistic cup'. Not sure why.

[Bare trees]

Great poem. The rhyming scheme didn't bother me as it may have others. It was the overall tone and description of your life I found interesting. Nice

[KAREN]

I could make a list of things you could changr< BUT I cant't because this was a beautiful write, very emotional too! Great job!! Keep writing you're good!!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem is inspirational. I think you would make
a great song writer because of the way you rhyme
in a candid and natural way without making it seem
forced.

Nice Job

[smalltownsympathies]

I definately agree with TBPopper. There was nothing wrong with the poem, I personally thought it was cute and quite optimistic, but felt that you're not challenging yourself. If you challenge yourself with the deepest thoughts and feelings within you, then you're a writer.
You've got great ideas, just go deeper!
:)

[Dream Weaver]

I thought this piece was and is written very well. I love your
rhyming scheme and your imagery paints a sad picture in
this write...Well done..

[Tony]

This is a fine narrative which clearly expresses the strong feeling which influence ourlives--and the rhyme scheme adds to it's fluidity. Excellent work!

[Wolfwind Words]

This was a wonderful heartfealt piece of ink. It flowed smoothly and carried with it a somber but introspective aspect. It left the reader pondering what we all keep inside that waits to come out.
The only line that seemed a little confusing to me was the second to the last. I understood it's meaning, but the word form cause the piece to have a hickup for me.

Over all it was really good Ink!
Wolfie

[just is]

This is quite a wonderful and powerful piece. Like the emotions in which you have written out. Strong write!

[Amit Parmessur]

Hello friend,

You write well and I wish the ezine of which I'm part of (Golden Apple Ezine) could publish one or two of your best works.

Do submit something to us if you wish to be published.

Visit the site: http://goldenappleezine.blogspot.com/

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

I love the rhyme! And this reminds me of how high school changes people. Way to stay strong through it!