I've never been all that good at writing; but I love it with a passion.
Please let me know what I've done good on and what I need to improve please and thank-you.
My Review
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I think you have a good idea. I don't think you've done anything wrong, per se, but as I read, I sort of felt like some of the rhymes were 'easy'. That is, they seemed like really obvious rhymes. There's nothing wrong with that, really, it just sort of made me feel like I was reading something from my teen years.
I did, however, really like the line 'and sip from my optimistic cup'. Not sure why.
Posted 13 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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I could make a list of things you could changr< BUT I cant't because this was a beautiful write, very emotional too! Great job!! Keep writing you're good!!
This poem is inspirational. I think you would make
a great song writer because of the way you rhyme
in a candid and natural way without making it seem
forced.
I definately agree with TBPopper. There was nothing wrong with the poem, I personally thought it was cute and quite optimistic, but felt that you're not challenging yourself. If you challenge yourself with the deepest thoughts and feelings within you, then you're a writer.
You've got great ideas, just go deeper!
:)
This is a fine narrative which clearly expresses the strong feeling which influence ourlives--and the rhyme scheme adds to it's fluidity. Excellent work!
This was a wonderful heartfealt piece of ink. It flowed smoothly and carried with it a somber but introspective aspect. It left the reader pondering what we all keep inside that waits to come out.
The only line that seemed a little confusing to me was the second to the last. I understood it's meaning, but the word form cause the piece to have a hickup for me.
I've been writing for a long time but I've never really been good at it! I love writing with a passion and I'm going to do it whether or not people enjoy it, Because I enjoy it. more..