Insanity Break

I laid my head on the silk fabric of the pillow, my eye lids slowly began to get heavy.
My lids drooping over my soft amber hues, before fulling covering them.
Eccentric patterns of pale blue, and violet danced like a movie behind my lids.
The darkened background, accentuating the colors.

That's when the voices started, the hissing sound that sizzled in my head.
I threw the covers off, wide and alert but not fully aware of what was going on.
I seemed to have lost control over my mind, my body.
I stumbled out of my bedroom, heading towards the kitchen.

Sliding open the top drawer, I removed the black handed curated edged blade.
I weighted it in my hand for a moment, the tears began to poor.
My body shaking violently, I couldn't comprehend what was going on.
I turned the blade downward stumbling back into my room.

Sliding into the back corner of my room, I slid down the wall.
My amber hues locked on the blade, the tears continued.
Flowing heavier now, shakily I raised my hand.
Bringing the blade to my left wrist.
The tip of the blade began to pierce the skin.
The hot crimson liquid beading at the wound.

I hesitated for a moment, drawing the knife back.
I closed my eyes again, the feeling of exhaustion over taking my form.
I slumped farther into the corner, trying to regain control.
The colors returned.
This time pastel yellow and rusty orange.

I could feel myself twitch and shake, my eyes shot open.
I released a shriek of terror as the voice rang in my ears, louder.
Demanding me to obey, I shook my head left to right.
My bangs trashing from side to side.

My chest heaved, my throat becoming dry.
It became hard to swallow, laying my arm on my leg.
I brought the knife back to my wrist, obeying the voice.
I brought the edge, up my arms upon pulling it away, revealing a large gash.
The crimson liquid poured quickly from the wound.
I grabbed the nearest fabric to myself after a few moments of staring.

I pressed the towel to the wound, trying to get the bleeding to stop.
I sobbed out in disbelief of what happened, yet some part of my was relieved.
The voice started again, seeming to approve of the actions.
Laughing, mocking.