Dolls

There's a scratching on the wall,

Throw it off as rats.

Screaming in the halls,

Must be these old streets.

With blood on the brow,

So normally content.

Which of them would you pick,

Would you pick none.

With a flick of their hand,

Burning of the witch.

Will the moon see the end,

With the dead watching. 

Blinded by the truth,

The secrets that it held.

Many a secret when will it end,

What will happen. 

Author's Note

Watching American Horror Story.

Reviews

[Sebastian Falzarano]

Excellent! Horror is a favorite genre of mine since it has many close ties to fantasy (my number one favorite genre), and this poem was no exception!
Now let's get to the good stuff. What I liked the most was how the poem was interacting with the reader, as most of the lines is directed towards them. The first stanza start the poem off in a excellent manner, seeding the mystery and hint of the evil that makes up the core of the genre. By trying to make sense of the unnatural, it has to be explained as a natural cause, hence why I like how scratchings are rats in the walls (great short story by H.P. Lovercraft, by the way) and screaming emitting from the hallways as coming from outside. The first two lines of the second stanza, "With blood on the brow,/So normally content.", brought my eyes back to the title of the poem. "So normally content" while there is "...blood on the brow" is exactly how a doll would react as an inanimate object.
After some rereadings, I am still unsure of the meaning of the third stanza. What I got out of it was something along the lines of this: "Burning of the witch" seems to be a reference to dolls being associated with witchcraft "With a flick of their hand,", can be seen as being used as vodoo dolls, which is the action/accusation that burns the witch that is using them in that manner.
The last two lines of the second stanza and the whole last stanza seem to point towards nature watching these unatural things burning and the victims they have claimed, "With the dead watching", under the at night when a witch is at it's strongest, "Will the moon see the end". Finally, I like how you ended it with the cliffhanger "Many a secret when will it end/What will happen.". This is what a horror reader needs to keep their imagination going after the conclusion of this poem.
The only grammatical errors I see are with these two lines: "Would you pick none.", "Which of them would you pick.", and "What will happen." These lines should end in question marks because you are questioning the reader. Otherwise, it was a great read!

[Riv]

Thank you so much for the review, it's greatly appreciated.

[Sebastian Falzarano]

Your welcome.

[B]

I see something totally bizarre here
the deep scratches on our perfect walls
seem to bother our eyes everyday
So we paint dolls to perfection

yet at the end we have to simply accept the damage and embrace it all with no fear

Lovely

[J3ssInJupit3r]

I want to know more! (I am also watching American Horror Story) I really liked this piece, but it had me craving, clinging, yearning for more!! Great work!

[E G TEN]

Cool Write Riv, Not much of a Horror Fan myself,
I like more romantic comedy, its not confusing and
Makes you smile, and a bit of inspired at the end.
Your writings are always a pleasant to read.
Thanks for sharing.

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome piece... I love that show and know what you are talking about :) Nice work!

[dan]

Riv, this was a very well-written piece, with a little boo(!) added for emphasis. Witches burning, eh? Nice creative write. Now: In the past few weeks I've reviewed a LOT of your writes. Remember that the way this works is as a two-way street...I review yours, you review mine. How about stopping by and reviewing mine? I don't mean 'review them ALL...just make an effort to do one or two? Thanks. take care...dan

[Riv]

Sorry about that I've been trying to get through my mass of reading requests since I have like 80 of them xD I'll head over to yours right now ^w^

[dan]

Take your time, just asking you to be aware and return the favor. thanks...dan

[Willard Wells]

What goes bump in the night is where I see this piece. Alone with the sounds and thoughts of a stormy night. Good start for Halloween.

[Amber Lily]

I haven't actually gotten to watch American Horror Story but I've heard many good things, not surprised it would inspire such a piece. I love the creative descriptions here, it makes one wonder what is lying underneath. Good work :)

[R Smith]

always love a good horror Riv, you gave us chills in this excellent poem :)

[Perkele.7885]

Riv, Horror, just is not my game, after all the horrors that I have seen in my actual life both in war and in police work, I gotta take a pass when I have the opportunity.