Please don't tell me that we're fine

How could you be so blind

The words that are spilling from your mouth

It's the same thing you hate

You're becoming something you don't like

You're becoming a nightmare

and you don't even know it

Author's Note

You're becoming the person you hate most.

Reviews

[Confuser]

Limno: This poem is one reason I love poetry. You had something it seemed you had to say, and it's well penned. Another reason is saying something, spilling it out maybe not to the person; This poem to me speaks volumes about relationships; so many images came to mind. Many times, it's money..the character says, money doesn't matter, but then gets a whiff, begins hanging out with others seeking that path. Or, they go with the snobs...it could be so many things. But I enjoyed it. And the title is great too; you pulled me in with ARE YOU BLIND, & sometimes we all lose our way. Great writing. Thanks. Dale

[Coyote Poetry]

Direct and honest words my friend. Sometimes we must state the facts and seek the true answer. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[B]

Self monitoring is essential
If you can't do it

One can end up in so much trouble

Good one :)

[alf]

Wow!! Limno, these are strong words and I love the way you have delivered them!!! I am so far behind, but if you are waiting for more reviews, I should have kicked the flu in a day or two and be back on deck!! alf

[Riv]

Good to see you back alf ^w^ always like your reviews thank you!

[alf]

Thanks for that!! Bit short tonight, but if I see a problem, i'll say so!!!

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

The poem is so great. The idea is truly unique and I liked the portrayal of the inculcation of qualities we despise in others in ourselves without our realisation. You've done a great job conveying this in just six lines! Keep up the good work! :)

[Sesame]

Hello Limnoh,

I like the message in this poem, which you have conveyed using only six sentences, good job. I would have liked it even more if you would have not only added the description of the words spilling and the references 'same thing' and 'something' but also a bit of the content of those words. What are we talking about here, what does this nightmare consist of, what is there to hate. Adding this would make it a bit deeper and if it is something that I can imagine or relate to, the poem might leave a bigger impression on me.

Regards Sesame

[Nadia B.]

Very interesting and powerful use of six lines, to show how we become that which we don't want to. The movie "Ender's game" speaks about this as well, that our obsession with what we don't like can make us the very thing we despise. Also that it is only by knowing ur enemy so well as to begin to love them that you defeat them, because in the end the real enemy is only ever ourselves. You seem to sum up this concept very well in just six lines, amazing, thanks for sharing, keep writing!

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Makes me think of Lana Del Rey's song Black Beauty, particularly these words from the lyrics:
"Oh, what can I do?
To turn you on or get through you
Oh, what can I do?
Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue
Sun and ocean blue
Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you"

I guess in a different sense, her song is a bit alike to yours. The protagonists being completely clueless and ruining their lives in their own way.

[dan]

LimnoH, I've always thought that, no matter how much one loves one's parents, the worst feeling is one looks at one's self and thinks, "Oh my God, I've become MY PARENTS!" But this must surely trump that feeling. When one's self-loathing and bitterness, caustic hatred and malevolence begins to turn one into a person at odds with their ideal or even their 2nd worst enemy...that must be where rock-bottom is located. I continue to admire how you unabashedly express your emotions in your work. take care...dan