Chapter Five

wc: 2422

[Arbitrary back roads] (Lebanon, KS); 2:29 PM

  We decided to take a drive in my car instead of just sitting and talking. It works better for both of us, since I can't really talk about something serious face-to-face. Maybe not serious, but troubling. Dean can't do it either, so here we are. In my 68' Dodge Charger.

  The sun shines down through the windshield, and I squint. I pull down the sun visor, and suddenly I can see the road.

"Okay, I'm breaking the silence. Just tell me what happened." I say, cutting through the thick air of tension between us. Normally, that would never happen. He's my best friend, and it's weird to have this between us. It doesn't feel normal. I hear him take a deep breath next to me.

"Sparrow, listen. I just said something and he got upset," I tell him to continue. "And... what I said was- that. We didn't need him here. That was it."

"Oh my god, you didn't." I demand. He looks at me dumb founded, and I'm fuming.

"You're such an idiot. Let me run you through this: Cas has been around for years, been your friend for years. He's an angel. People aren't supposed to have angel friends because angels are busy all the time fighting wars and whatever. It's surprising how oblivious you are."

"Oblivious to what?"

"He's in love with you, Dean. Capital L, as in love. That's why he stays. For you." I glance at him sideways, and he's just staring ahead. Like he's in... shock? Like he can't comprehend what I just said, or he's not even trying to. I can't tell. I decide to keep talking.

"He sleeps on the damn war table. Why do you think he would do that? Because he's afraid to ask you for somewhere to stay. An actual room. Because you're always so weird about it. Like with Erik moving in? I told Cas about that and unfortunately he got so nervous about it that he decided to sleep on a frickin table. I could give you so many more examples."

"But... Cas, he's- he's my best friend. That's, uh. That's it, okay?"

"Oh, shut up. I see the way you look at him. I'm surprised you two haven't banged-"

"Woah, woah. Stop. Wow. That was bold."

"Just apologize to him. And you two should talk about it. Hey, I'm gay. So is Erik. Sam's probably demi, to be honest. You can talk to anyone about it, and if not, just me, okay? I understand, and if I don't, I'll learn. We can learn." He nods, but he doesn't look at me. I may have gotten through to him. Only time will tell, I guess. After a few minutes, he opens his mouth.

"I need to tell you something." He says, hesitantly. I nod for him to continue.

"That case in Forks. Proteus. Sam and I said we wouldn't tell you but... Sparrow, he's a god. Literally a god."

"Oh, crap, Dean. What did you do? Wait, why didn't you tell me?" I get ahead of myself and I'm struggling to pay attention to my driving since I keep glancing from Dean, back to the road, and the wheel. I thought we were going to continue talking about a certain someone. This is definitely a surprise.

"Nothing, nothing. He's just... not dead. We had him tied down, but he turned into... water. A liquid of some kind, I think. It was disgusting. And then he literally slipped down the drain of the shower that was in the motel's bathroom."

  I'm in shock for about a minute until I burst out laughing, and he looks at me with his signature, are you crazy? What's wrong with you? look that's only reserved for me. And Cas. Soon, he starts laughing too. I'm forced to pull over next to some random field, since I'm afraid that I'll ram us into a tree or a bush or something. I really don't want to total my car.

"You guys screwed up too? I'm not a failure then, thank you." I get out through my hysteria.

"I guess you could say that, huh. Who's gonna kill em' if we can't?" 

  He raises a serious question.

  I know that if I was offered a chance again, I still wouldn't know what to do.

  Sam would want to do it on his own.

  And Cas... well, I don't want him to get hurt. He feels like a human to me, even if he isn't.

"We need a mythology expert in whatever group it is, because he's from Greek lore or something. Hey, wait. Could we ask Jody? And Donna? They can use that one huge library in Sioux Falls." As soon as I say it, I realize that I'm a genius.

"I don't know. I mean, Jody has the girls."

"We could watch them. Bring them to the bunker. It'd be more lively, no? Jody and Donna would be able to take Proteus, they're tough. And smart. Smarter than you, anyway." I chuckle and nudge him. He thinks on it for a minute.

"Claire's not gonna like that. She'd rather be gankin' the thing herself."

"Claire likes you, though. She'll come around. You're like a father to her. And we have cool stuff at the bunker, weapons she's probably never seen before. And a shooting range. It might take her mind off of it. We haven't even asked yet, but I'm pumped anyway."

  I call up Sam and Erik to tell them that we're going to ask Jody and Donna to handle it. Sam's surprised that Dean told me, and Erik's surprised that they didn't kill Proteus. I fill them both in, but Erik hasn't met the girls before. He's met Jody and Donna, but only in passing. He avoids Sioux Falls.

  They both agree, and I continue to call Jody. She'll be able to pass the information on to Donna after I tell her.

  She picks up on the other end of the call, and we greet each other like old friends. The thing is, she sort of rescued me. I almost got arrested this one time because the local police found me inside a crime scene tampering with evidence. It turned out to be a vampire in the end, and I took care of it, but that was after Jody told everybody that I was a junior detective and that I was under her wing. Everyone was mad since I was touching everything at the scene, and they directed their anger toward Jody because of me. I feel like I owe her at all times although I've technically already repaid my debt. I don't like being in debt to people. It makes me feel weighed down.

  Jody tells me that she'll have to talk about it with Donna first, but I know that that means yes. They never stray away from stuff like this, and I have a feeling that she's starting to consider it as a challenge. Three guys haven't been able to kill this god, so I know that she's going to step up and do better than any of us ever could. I start to relax at the thought that this might finally be over.

  2:47 PM

  We're back at the bunker, and I've gathered everyone (Sam, Dean, Cas, and Erik) around the war table to talk about our plan for the week, which is basically just, 'how to take care of teenage girls.' Or what we're going to do, more like.

"Claire will definitely want to try out the firing range. I know Alex likes Drag Race, and I love it too, so we can watch that. But both Kaia and Claire are gonna hang out together a lot, I know that for a fact, so most of the time it'll just be the two of them and the rest of us doing whatever." I say, leaning back in my chair. The only other person that's sitting is Erik, and everyone else is just standing, gathered around the table. It feels like we're planning a hunt. After a few minutes, Erik suggests something.

"We could go shopping," Erik shrugs. "God knows that two out of the five of us need new clothes." Dean rolls his eyes, but Sam's all for it.

"Alright, sounds like a plan. We can just wing it this week, do whatever they want to do. But we have to keep them in sight, or more pretty much just Claire. Anything could happen with that girl, honestly." I input.

"Dean, Cas. Come with me," They both shoot me a look. "Sorry Erik. And Sam. We just gotta talk. See you two later." I gesture to Dean and Cas to follow me, and I lead them through the bunker and into my room. I take a seat on my bed, right in the middle, and sit criss-cross. Dean sits on the floor in the corner of the room, legs extended out in front of him. Cas sits down at my desk chair. I notice that they've chosen two opposite sides to sit on. They won't even look at each other.

"I don't understand wh-"

"Dean, stop. Okay. You two? Both of you need to resolve whatever this is, because we have kids coming over, and I'm sick of it," Cas looks away in shame. "It'll be fine. Cas... how do you feel about all of this? How do you feel about Dean and what he's said to you?" Cas looked to me, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. He got up out of the chair and took a few steps until he was standing next to the bed, then he climbed on. I moved over to make room for him, and he sat next to me. I put my arm around his shoulders and held him close.

"Dean told me," He hesitated. I nodded at him to go on. "He told me that no one needed me here. And I feel... worthless? And I think that other emotion would be... betrayal." I sighed and wrapped both my arms around him to hug him from the side. I glanced at Dean.

"Please explain yourself." I say, warily.

"It was just because. Uh. Well. He- just."

"He causes you confusion. Yeah, yeah. We all know you're some kind of fruity."

"Fruity?"

"Queer. Gay. LGBT."

"Oh... right. That. Yeah." I turn to Cas.

"I didn't want to say it for you guys, but we gotta move this forward. Cas, That idiot's in love with you. And John probably beat him because of it so that's why he's afraid or something. Afraid that you make him question himself. Sorry." Dean pulled his knees up in front of him and hugged them, resting his head on top of his legs. Cas looked at me, bewildered.

"It's true," Dean said, muffled. "John- dad, he... I told him once. I was just fourteen. And I told him. That I had attraction to both, uh. To the same gender. As well as the opposite." He talked with his head hung low.

"He hit me. Told me it was... wrong, or something. Not any religious excuse since, well, y'know. Just that it was disgusting. And I believed him, for a short time. But then... then I met Charlie, and I met you, Row. I didn't think it was necessarily wrong, since it was how I felt, but you guys helped a little."

"Aww, D. Get up here." There was a tear rolling down his cheek, and he took a seat right in front of Cas and I on the bed. We sat in a little circle together.

"It's okay that you're... bi? Bisexual?" He muttered a small 'yeah.' "It's okay, Dean. John, he's not here anymore. And there are so many accepting people of this, of how we are. And how Cas is, whatever he is."

"I don't like labels. I think that I like... men. I don't know."

"That's fine. Hey, you guys. You can cry if you want. Sorry, but John was a horrible person. None of that toxic masculinity here. See? Even I'm tearing up." And it's true, I was. I felt like we'd breached a barrier, broken through.

"Dean. I would like to reciprocate your... feelings. I was there when you were created, when you were brought into this life. I knew that you were special, but I also knew that you would face many hardships. And those hardships, the very bad ones, I should say... are over. Because you have been resilient and brave in the face of danger. But you are also kind and caring deep down, and this kindness has been broken and beaten because of... everything. You are broken. But I think that that's why you're beautiful. To me." And now the waterworks were really coming, and Dean was trying to cover his face with his hands.

"This feels like a private moment." I joke, trying to ease the tension. Dean chuckles.

"Uh.. thanks, Row. Cas. Uh. Sorry, I-" He thinks. "I've never done any of this, I wouldn't know how to-"

"I haven't either." And then something spectacular happened.

Cas leaned over and closed the space between the two of them,

  and then he kissed Dean.

Dean was surprised, but I could see it in his eyes that he knew it felt right. Just like it always looks when you kiss your first queer crush. It was beautiful. All of a sudden, I really did feel like it was a private moment.

Cas pulled back, and Dean was in a state of shock. He tried to say something, but started stuttering, and decided to stop.

"I think that was right. Correct. I think that was... was I supposed to..?" Cas began questioning.

"No, no, Cas. That was- yes." Dean's cheeks were flushed. 

This charismatic, charming, and intimidating individual, who was a hunter, no less... was easily flustered. By Cas. This was something I never thought I'd see. And all I could think about was talking to Sam about it and how it came to a much better conclusion than I thought it would.

"I'm sorry I said we didn't need you. We do. I mean, I do. Please don't leave."

"You are an idiot. Of course I'm not leaving."

To round this whole conversation out, I pulled them in for a group hug.

Finally, something was going right for them.

They deserve it.

They really do.

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[aether]

DESTIEL YES. I love your writing style also!