Up by the Gate

Up by the Gate

A Story by Eggplant

He walked inside his house. All little Jack saw was darkness. he heard mice scurrying across the floor of the beach-side house. Little Jack knew his foster parents were asleep, so he left the desolated house and walked to his neighbors house. His only friend lived there, and he was a foster kid as well as little Jack. His name was Ross. As Jack walked up to the gate of the fence, it swung open, and Ross came running through. The two of them ran down to the beach to start collecting driftwood. They grabbed as much as their arms could carry, then ran the driftwood back to the gate. After, Ross and little Jack went back down to the beach to collect more driftwood. As little Jack waited at the gate, Ross ran into his own dark house, and came out with as much rope and twine as he could carry. Little jack started to align the driftwood, while Ross tied pieces together. As they worked on their creation, little jack knew that what was coming was better than what came before. 

© 2017 Eggplant


Author's Note

Eggplant
This is a prequel to "On the Raft", one of my previous creates. I would suggest read that before you read this.

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Reviews

Use more descriptors about the scenery. You can make it really beautiful if you describe the dark beach and the struggle it takes for the boys to collect the driftwood and carry it over to where they are collecting it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Eggplant

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for letting me know as this. I really appreciate it when writers like you comment .. read more
Sasha Jade

6 Years Ago

You're welcome! I hope to see more from you.
This is what I call the beauty of continuity. What came now is better than what came before . The diction is self explanatory. I like the imagery. Keep it up. Am waiting for more on this. Keep me posted when a new one is born

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

knew that what was coming was better than what came before.

Love this

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like where this is going. I can see the story unraveling.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 5, 2017
Last Updated on November 5, 2017