XV.X.VII Burning Touch

XV.X.VII Burning Touch

A Poem by LilyGrace

Love occupies it's own world

That lies within the intensity

Of a gaze; the burning touch

Of a finger; the rosebud kiss

Of his lips. No other joy can resemble

The glowing ecstasy you feel

In his arms. Lying safely coccooned

Against the fears of the world;

You dream of staying here

Forever and a day.

© 2009 LilyGrace


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I like 'intensity of a gaze' ... I just like the word gaze which gives subliminal rhymes with haze/daze/maze all of which go with the moment you capture here.

Posted 16 Years Ago


"Lying safely coccooned
Against the fears of the world;"---i love this..i get such a visual with these lines..very nice..

"the intensity
Of a gaze; the burning touch"---lovely,and it is so real, i can remember feeling these things..

lovely write..just lovely



Posted 16 Years Ago


This is a very smooth read.
Try to avoid the clich�' words and phrases such as " burning touch", "butterfly kiss"," cocooned" etc.
Experiment with different words, if you find yourself writing something that sounds familiar try saying it a different way.
It's a constant learning process and you can always come back to previous work and apply what you learn as you go on.

You have a poets touch to your work, now you just need to find your own voice.
Don't stop writing.

Namaste'
Tim

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 9, 2008
Last Updated on August 14, 2009

Author

LilyGrace
LilyGrace

Welwyn Garden City, United Kingdom



About
I'm a student. I work hard, I party hard, and I'm full of angst and confusion, as any self-respecting student is. I don't pretend to be extraordinarily talented, but I'm not bad. I love to write, and.. more..

Writing

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