Again

I wake up in a daze as usual. Another night of getting off at 6am and sleeping my life away. I reach for my phone to check the time, only to realize it's not were I left it when I went to sleep. Realization dawns on me, it's another night of you going through my phone while I'm asleep. I cant help but feel a mixture of emotions as you come into the bedroom and throw my phone down on the table and call me a liar. A liar because of who my friend is. A liar because I kept the truth from you about my friend. A liar because you dont want me to have a friend.
There was a time when you two were inseparable and nothing could split you two apart. There was a time when you two would move heaven and hell for each other, but not theres nothing. And I'm stuck in the cross fire. Feeling like I cant choose either side.
One side is the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. The only man I can see myself having a family with and living the rest of my days with.
The other side is a man who I have been friends with for years. Who picked me up when I had no one else. A man who before my fiancee came along fed me in ways that do not need to be repeated.
I'm stuck in a crossfire and cant lose neither one of them. But I'm told I must choose. So instead I lie...
I shouldn't do that. It goes against my ethics, but I also refuse to be given an ultimatum. I'm allowed to have friends. I'm allowed to have my own life.
But why do I feel so s****y about it? Why do I feel as if I'm going under?
Someone save me...

Reviews

[Thepensiveplayer]

Excellent write! It brings to light the tornado of feelings we have in situations like this. Nobody can or has the right to control another human being. If any person your with tries to isolate you from the world and put you in their own box. RUN LIKE HELL FROM THEM! There's no longer any love at that point its just possession. When we choose someone to be with its by choice not by force. Its by freedom, not by obligation. Just take time for yourself to manage your feelings. Take care and keep on writing. :)

[Raeven]

Powerful words. No one should ever be given the ultimatum of having to choose anything over anything... I usually ditch the person who tries to give said ultimatum, but that's me personally. Stay strong.

[Lilthhh666]

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