something unexpected

I alrady knew he was not gonna reply

Why?

What did i do?

Almost for 5 years we exchanged many messages . " Aiiiiiiish noooo don't think too much Jenna you are the one who decided to end this " suddenly I got a messages and I searched through my phone but found I got notifications from a dating app " It was an ad  for a dating what else are you expecting" suddenly one description caught my eye. I want a girl who is willing to marry me after our first meet . I asked myself why so suddenly is this some kind of joke , what does he think of marriage , marriage is something people in love do  it shouldn't be  forced or a burden , I tried to understand love but I failed and I cant say love exists. But, did he mean I can get married right away . 

I saved the number and messaged him and the next time we saw was on our marriage. On the day we met, without knowing about anything we were already married, without knowing our families or backgrounds. 

The photographer screamed " Give a kiss on her forehead lets take a pic" . I wasn't ready for that . He said " Lets just pretend everything will be okay,  get a little closer" and even though it was hard for both of us he tried to kiss my forehead so I gave a little force on my head so that he wont be hesitated anymore . At that moment our  eyes met and he said " I'm sorry ......I didn't mean to give a real kiss but I did it for real" and looking each other we laughed because it gave me a tickle on my heart I felt my heartrate was racing and I asked myself did we really get married.

After the marriage I moved into with him. It was already night and I was arranging my room he came to me and asked " Don't you want to talk to me? I have already brought dinner for us" . We started to eat our dinner but I was not aware of what to talk to him , because a marriage without any feeling is really awkward. And I finally said " I married you because I wanted to change my life and I don't  know what your family and my family will think about that and I know its a little late  know." And he said " Jenna you are know having a fresh start because its better than marrying someone who is cheating on you right?  and I know we don't have that kind of relationship but I wont hurt you and Iam pretty sure your family will understand " I was so flustered and happy at the same time when he  said that to me even I wasn't able to express that in few words and I want to come out from this situation " we need to go see your mom too Carl." and i went to my bedroom and I thought I'll  be able to  be  with Carl for a while . But I jumped from my bed and then only I realized HOW LONG IS ........A WHILE? 

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[Little sunshine]

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