I'm Sorry

I'm sorry, so sorry, but this is how I truly feel. I'm sorry.

Ever since the day we met,

the day you approached me

when no one else would,

you’ve been on my mind.

You were funny

and kind

and charismatic;

who wouldn’t like you?

Except I liked you

too much.

I like you

far, far too much.

It didn’t start out this way, you know.

I don’t know how it got so bad.

By the time I realized it,

I was in over my head.

I know the timing isn’t great

(actually it’s downright awful)

and this is only going to complicate things

but I just had to get this out.

I’m sure you suspected it,

but I wanted you to know

one way or another

that I love seeing your smile,

especially directed at me.

I love hearing your laugh.

I love the way your eyes light up

when you’re happy.

I love when you wave at me

or even just acknowledge

that I’m there.

You are the highlight of my day.

You honestly have no idea

how happy I was

when you hugged me

and thanked me for that note

which embarrassed me so much

(imagine how I feel now).

You are pretty much 

always on my mind. 

It’s kind of sad, actually.

Every day

all I want most

is to see you smile.

Even if it’s not at me.

I don’t expect anything from you;

I want you to know that.

You don’t owe me

in any way.

I know already

and have accepted

that you will never return my feelings.

And that’s okay.

I’m happy seeing you happy…

even if I’m not the reason.

It’s okay, really.

I just had to tell you, you know?

Please don’t think I’m creepy

or feel bad for me 

because of how hopeless I am.

I don’t think I could stand it 

if you thought that too.

If it makes things easier,

you could pretend you never read this at all.

I won’t mind.

I’m sorry.

I’m really sorry. 

Did I screw up?

It feels like I did.

Maybe I should have never

let you read this at all.

Maybe I should have

just kept it inside

and never told you at all.

But that probably would have

just made things worse.

I thought, briefly,

about letting you read the poetry 

I’ve written about you

(there’s a lot).

But I feel that would be

crossing a boundary 

I’m hardly ready to approach

(who am I kidding,

this ship went down 

the moment I began writing this).

But maybe someday.

A day when I have more courage

than to hand you this paper

and then turn tail and run.

A day I might be able

to tell you these things to your face.

But that day is not today.

I am shy as ever,

and here you are:

reading my awful proclamation

as I am probably near tears in embarrassment.

So that’s it,

I guess. 

I’m sorry.

I like you.

A lot.

I’m really sorry.

Reviews

[Diana Moon]

Amazing, I can relate to it so much. I don't have to courage to even write one to a guy, much less have him read it. Great job!

[Duckey]

Amazing. just amazing. I love this poem as i can relate to it so much, and i can relate to the feelings and the complications and the situations, and it is just so wonderfully written! I love it, keep writing, i would love to read more of your work

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A very impressive wrote. It shows how complicated feelings and relationships are and how much they can make you feel wonderful, make you feel real hurt and confused inside and everywhere in between.

This is one fantastic poem.